An Update from the USA

It's been nearly a month since my last post... I was emotional and weepy the last time I wrote.  This time I am emotional and weepy.  Some things never change.  It reality, though, quite a lot has changed since we got back to Texas.  We are staying with my parents until our container arrives and our house is vacant.  Savannah, Dynamo and I are bunking with Mom, Dad, and their two dogs, ChiChi the alpha-female chihuahua, and Wiggles, the mentally challenged Yorkie.  Their dogs bark.  A lot.  At nothing and at everything.  My dog is learning some not so great life lessons from these pups.  I am a little leery about taking him to our house at the end of this month.  Sigh.  Savannah and I are getting pretty spoiled by my mom.  She is cooking breakfasts and brewing coffee and packing lunches and making dinners and doing laundry.  It's kind of like being back at the Leela, but with a couple of yappy dogs.  And my dad is driving Savannah around everywhere, which is kind of like having our little Murugesan back, except he speaks English and wants to talk a lot so there's no tuning out and jamming to the music on the phone or staring at Facebook while Dad is driving.  I have to drive myself back and forth to work.  And anywhere else during the week.  It's awful.  I miss Murugesan.  On the weekends, though, I get to hand Michael the keys and hop in the passenger seat, which makes me really happy.  I do not have tea or coffee delivered to my desk twice a day, but I can walk to the coffee machine and get my own whenever I want, which is almost as good.  I am learning lots of great and terrific things about the world of exports and all about the new company that I am working for.  Although still under our AP Moller umbrella, Safmarine has a different flavor and I am really enjoying it.  The team welcomed me with open arms and they are teaching me all kinds of awesome stuff I never knew about the other side of the business.  It's exhilarating and exciting and makes the days go by SO DANG FAST!  Outside of work, I am busy annoying my best friend/wedding coordinator by making as few decisions about our wedding as possible.  She is about ready to throw me off a bridge because she wants to know about the details... and I am SO not the details girl.  My motto has been, "I don't care, just make it pretty. Oh and less expensive.  Make it less expensive."  She might revoke my BFF-ness if I don't watch out.  In other news, Savannah has joined the ranks of the college-bound.  Many thanks to the BFF's mom, Erin, she enrolled in FOUR classes at Lone Star, which is our local community college, for those not familiar.  She will take English, Algebra, Intro to College all on campus on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and then Music Appreciation online.  I am really proud of her, as she was only wanting to take 1 or maybe 2 classes, so this is a stretch, but I think it will be really good for her.  She's been having a tough time since we got back home... I have been going non-stop between work and wedding and just having a lot to do and not enough time, and our time together has been lacking.  She feels disconnected and a bit lost with her identity.  Most teens probably go through this after graduation, but I think hers is coupled with being back in the US and seeing some of her friends going off to college while others are readying for their senior year.  She's jumped feet first back into the youth group at our church, which is great, but is still searching for exactly where she fits in these days.  She misses the kids and our church family from India.  She was putting off job hunting because "when I get a job that means India is really over..."  And the only thing I could tell her was that India really WAS over, at least for this season of her life.  If she pursues this teaching degree she is beginning with and winds up overseas to teach English like she says she wants to, then India could be back in her future.  Yes, we had a great time and made some wonderful memories and friends of a lifetime, but for now we are back in Texas and we have to move forward.  There are a lot of great memories and friends to be made here as well.  With that conversation and some tears behind us, we set out to find my girl a part time job.  She has an interview tomorrow afternoon and is babysitting for a friend for a couple weeks in the meantime.  My girl needs structure in her life, so working and school are just what the doctor ordered.  I'll ask for your prayers to help her acclimate back to American living and feeling more at peace with her transition into adulthood.
Hmm what else?  One of the things that is so different to me is the amount of variety.  Too many options.  I needed a refillable cup for my water at work.  I ran into a store to pick up a plastic cup with a lid that won't sweat.  I was overwhelmed and frustrated with all the options.  Every different color lid you can imagine.  Different patterns from colleges to football teams to abstract designs or butterflies or owls or...  well, just about everything.  I just wanted a cup.  Seriously.  Take me back to India where I don't have a choice and I take what I get and it probably leaks.  LOL  I just stood there and looked and looked and looked.  It was like I was frozen in time and could not make a decision.  I ultimately decided on a tall cup with peacock feathers and a light blue lid.  Very Indian, after all was said and done.  Ironic.
And staying with my parents is great, being spoiled and spending some quality time that we missed for two years, but it's lacking the quiet solitude we often had at our flat in Padur.  There is usually a niece or two running around or a dog barking or the TV blaring an old John Wayne or America's Ninja Master or whatever that ridiculous show is that seems to play every.single.night.of.my.life.  I try to find a quiet corner of the bedroom or escape to the porch if it's not too hot out, but sometimes there just isn't an escape and that, too, is overwhelming.  Sometimes I just need quiet time.  If only I enjoyed driving... then I could probably happily drive myself somewhere for the peace of it.  Oh, well...
So, yes, there are some things Savannah and I miss from India.  Biriani.  Our church family and friends. Simplicity.  Peace in the midst of chaos.  Set dinner plans after church and not having to make a decision about where we would go.  Comfort... repetition... the norm.  We have to make a new norm, but it feels as though that is out of our reach at the moment.  The end of this month, while I know it will approach rapidly, seems just past our fingertips and too difficult to imagine just yet. 
I don't know if I will continue to blog or not.  It's been so busy, but I had a lot on my mind, so thought I'd put it out there.  I'll take it one week at a time.  In the meantime, here's a side note - I have been very out of touch - not a lot of Facebook checking on friends or texts or phone calls at all - with all my friends, near and far.  Please know I am just, well, overwhelmed with so much to do and not enough hours in a day.  Know I love you and hope to catch up very soon.  Just need a little time to catch my breath.
Appreciate your love and prayers and support as we transition back to our American way of life and sending love and hugs back to each of you!

An Emotional last morning...

I woke up extra early this morning to the rustling sounds of Savannah getting ready for the last service at the Tamil church. I heard the usual "getting ready" noises with a few extra tossed in - the zipping of suitcases & clearance of items from the bathroom as it was her last time to use the luxurious Leela super-huge bathroom.  I dozed back off after she left, but have since gone down to enjoy a nice decaf cappuccino and fresh eggs at the beautiful breakfast buffet. As I sat and waited on the faux caffeine, I began to think about this being our last day in India together and I got a little teary-eyed. Although most of our time was not spent at five star properties like the Leela Palace, we did enjoy our two years here in Chennai. We used the opportunity to grow our mother/daughter relationship. We traveled together. We got on each other's nerves. We encouraged each other. We laughed together. We cried together. We learned beautiful things about a new culture. We learned beautiful things about ourselves and each other. We witnessed racism, and we felt it firsthand for the first time in our lives. We fought battles, big and small. We spent time in an Indian hospital and faced separate health issues.  We made friendships on the basis of being American in India - and we know these friendships will be lifelong because there's a special kind of bond that comes from being away from "home" but connecting with people who share your "home". We found and fell in love with a new church family. We held a beautiful young girl in our arms and in our hearts and then laid her to rest. We helped the other get out of our comfort zones on many occasions.  We made memories to last a lifetime.
I am sure we have done more as a team during this tenure, but any other thoughts escape me at the moment. I will be forever grateful to my girl for joining me on this crazy adventure. As the time comes to leave our Indian home and return back to our native land of the brave, I am overcome with emotion. I have done a pretty good job stuffing it down this week with only a time or two of the tears welling up, but I can tell it won't be that way anymore. The tears welled up at breakfast. Alone.  Which means as soon as someone else is around to enunciate the words "today is your last day," they will come without the ability to keep them under control. But not yet. 
Our last week included packing our apartment into 62 boxes to be shipped back to Houston.  We caught up and had dinners, lunches and coffee or tea with many of our friends and coworkers.  We had a special appreciation ceremony for our driver with Maersk and his company's owner.  We watched the clock and counted the days, with both anticipation and trepidation.  How quickly this week went at times, while other times ticked away ever so slowly.  (I could actually say this for the past two years... not just this week!)  The roller coaster of emotions tends to do that, I suppose.  Speaking of ticking clock, it's about time for me to move from this soft bed and begin my getting ready process for the day.  The last day... at least until Safmarine sends me back, which I look forward to, and softens this leaving scenario in my mind and heart.  It it much easier to say "see ya later" instead of "goodbye."  And with that thought, I will leave you with God's great blessings, hugs, and request for prayers for our safe travels home.  We depart, with Dynamo in tow, at 1:50 AM IST, 3:20 PM CST and will land in Texas on Monday around 1:30 PM.  Thank you in advance and big love & hugs, once more, from Chennai!

Indianisms, Texan'd up

As we get further into our second year here and as we think about making plans for our return to the US, I have become more conscious of the mannerisms and Indian grammar and phrases I have picked up.  And I like to point out Savannah’s just for fun.  She has more than I do.  Or maybe I realize hers more than I realize mine, but I like to think she has more than I do. Here are some examples that might make you laugh. Or pity us.  I am sure we will be teased when we get back and can’t speak our American English properly for a while.

Example 1- Today I wrote an email to a colleague in the US and said, "He must be knowing.”  I hit send.  Then I thought, “OH MY GOSH!”  American Nikki would have said, “He should know.”  Wow.

Example 2 – I always take the lift in our flat.  I never take the elevator anymore.  I mean, that word is too long.  And flat is shorter than apartment, too.  This just makes sense to me. Savannah teases me.

Example 3 – Savannah does the head bobble. A lot.  She answers with a wobble for any YES questions in school and many times at home.  I do it sometimes.  Not as much, but it happens.

Example 4 – I do this hand thing.  Well, I do a few hand things.  One is that my right hand goes to the middle of my forehead and I bow my head a bit when I am thinking something is funny but usually tied in with a bit of disbelief.  For instance, my co managers are all quite the comedians.  They tell me funny stories and I shake my head, laugh and tell them they are nuts.  The stories are sometimes so silly that I can’t believe some of the crazy stuff they say and do.  And there goes the hand to the forehead.  Another hand thing is like what we in the US call “jazz hands” – kind of shaking the hand quickly - and it’s basically my contribution of “whatever” to the conversation.  I am generally annoyed with the context of the conversation or brushing something off.  I do this a lot.  I must be annoyed a lot.  LOL  It’s just the right hand, too.

Example 5 – I don’t say, "You’re welcome,” much anymore.  I have changed it to, “very welcome.”

Things I don’t say out loud but I hear/say (in a perfect Tamilian accent, by the way) in my head during conversations with my Indian friends:

“siri ok.” This just means agreement. 

“solinga” – this means “tell me” – many Indians answer their mobile (cell) phones with “Solinga, Nikki”

“sapdia?” – did you eat yet? – this is the Indian equivalent of “how about this weather?”  When there’s an awkward silence in the lift (which is often) I sometimes crack myself up thinking of how I will start a conversation with a stranger and open it with this.  Because this is SO non-American.  Yes, I am easily amused.

“ama” – this means yes. 

These phrases are sprinkled in our English conversations all the time, which is why I hear them in my head.  But my spoken accent is so bad that nobody can understand me so I don’t even bother saying them.  I did tell my co managers about this a while back and they think it’s hilarious, but they did not encourage me to say them out loud.  I wonder why?  LOL. Tonight before I left, I got a quiz. My co manager asked me to pronounce some full names of the team members. I know them all, of course, but saying them is a whole other story. They all laughed with me when I gave initials. Oh, India. 

As July gets closer, my emotions get more all over the place.  I am so happy to be going home and seeing my family and Michael all the time. It will be great to be able to have all the conveniences that I took for granted in my American life: driving myself anywhere, anytime; putting stuff into a dishwasher; drying clothes in a machine; running an errand (ANY errand!) in less than half an hour;  working during the daylight hours and sleeping when it’s dark; downloading iTunes updates in less than 6 hours; being able to have a Skype conversation without losing the connection or picture after 15 minutes; TEX MEX! and so much more. 

However, I am really starting to think about all the things I will be missing, too, like the awesome church home we have found and have so much connection to.  Of course, with that church home come the church friends – more like family – that we have made.  I am teary-eyed writing this (shocking, I know).  I think about the fun team I work with and the terrific co managers I will miss laughing with so much. Our amazing American expat friends and their wives.  I am already sad to think about leaving chicken biryani and sag paneer with garlic naan.  I will miss having a driver since I don’t love driving.  I will miss the bonding time Savannah and I are forced to have and sometimes I think I won’t survive.  I will miss hearing kids playing outside in the courtyard at the flat, on the cricket field and running to greet Dynamo (even when I am late for work and trying to hurry).  I will miss the fresh tender coconut juice and the sweet little man who sells it right outside our complex. 

I know both of these lists will grow as July races towards us.  We have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in.  Thailand flights are booked. Hotels and tour packages are in the works. Countdown to hugging Mom, Dad and Michael is in full swing.  Kerala isn’t booked or looking positive.  We can’t have Savannah out of school much more and the rainy season will start soon. I am still trying to fit this one in…  I have an SAT test to administer to Savannah.  I need to firm up a position back in the states.  I am working on a car for when I return.  We are making some decisions about Savannah’s plans and future for our return.  I feel like I have too many irons in the fire and I focus on one thing and something else moves to the wayside.  It’s a daunting task – this international move – even if it is back to where we came from.  So much to do and plan for, so little time!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support for my girlie and me.  We appreciate it more than you know and send you all our love, hugs and prayers.

We attended a wedding tonight & brought Sandra along for the fun. The beautiful bride was on our team when I first came. Here are a couple snaps (pictures).  Enjoy! 

November Rain

The last time I blogged I was feeling pretty frustrated and helpless.  I haven't posted anything in the past couple weeks because not a lot has changed and I figure you don't need to hear my whining.  My kiddo has now missed three weeks of school.  We went to a new doctor when the initial blood work came back and was not conclusive but the symptoms stayed.  The original doc said he thinks she is depressed, missing home.  Well, of course she's missing home.  I am, too.  But missing home doesn't give you a pretty steady fever for more than three days and a monthly recurrence of the same fever, usually coupled with vomiting or nausea.  We went to the big international hospital here, Apollo, and met with a senior doc in the Infectious Disease department.  Savannah was repulsed by the department name.  "Oh my gosh, what do they think I have???" 

Let me tell you a little about this visit...  This hospital is big, like one of the bigger hospitals in our Houston medical center, to help my Texas friends relate.  And it's filled with different desks and sub-departments because we're in India and that's how we do it over here.  We like to make things as confusing as possible.  I had a hunch this was going to be pretty complicated for my American-self and asked Gideon if he could join us in advance.  Savannah wasn't feeling better.  She was closing out the second full week of being sick, and I was sick at this point, too.  I just had congestion and sinus issues, but enough that I was feeling pretty lousy and thought it best to have an "Indian representative" to help with language barriers and cranky American issues.  Sometimes I make pretty good decisions and this was one of them.  Thank GOD Gideon was with us.  Although Apollo is an internationally recognized hospital, and even has a department JUST FOR foreigners, there was lots of Tamil going on and lots of "go here, fill this, do that, not this, pay here, see him, go there."  Had Gideon not been with us at the start, I can assure you I would have started crying (or gone to Indian jail for assault and battery) about 10 minutes in and he would have wound up there in the end.  Anyway, Saint Gideon helped us through the myriad of desks and departments to finally meet the good doctor.  We were too late, after all the desk hopping, to meet the one he wanted to see, but we were meeting second in charge.  I'll take it.  But first we met with a doctor's assistant.  Super nice guy, listened to everything we had to say about Savannah's symptoms and asked quite a few questions we didn't already cover.  He told us it sounds like Typhoid based on her pattern of fever and vomiting and could be easily treated, not to worry.  To properly diagnose we will get a culture and watch it grow for about a week.  Savannah was on high alert at that point: What kind of culture??  He answered simply, "A blood test.  A prick.  Nothing to worry."  My poor kid.  She really did get a lot of my better qualities, but the anxiety over blood tests and needles is not one of them.  I told her relax, we were still going to talk to the main doctor and maybe he could tell something from the other tests.  There was no calming her down.  Sigh.  So the assistant laughed a bit, ok, a lot, and sent us to see the main guy with his set of notes.  What was the first thing out of Savannah's mouth?  "I am not getting a blood test."  Nice.  Deep Mom sigh.  I smile, tell him I'm sorry, and he smiles.  Nice man.  He reads through the notes and has another discussion, similar to the one we just had.  He's thorough and it's good.  He suspects maybe mononucleosis or even something thyroid-related. There's more talk of blood test.  He knows she is not wanting it, and says to avoid it for now, we can check her temperature at several times a day for four days and then come back to have it done if there's a pattern.  She was shaking her head through the entire conversation, "No, no blood test."  I had to be the mean mom.  I had to be the mom who is looking out for her best interests, and in this case, looking out for her health.  I put on the "don't mess with me" voice and face, and told her we are NOT waiting four more days to get this done.  I reminded her she had already missed two full weeks of school, I had missed several nights of work, we needed to be able to go home with her healthy in a month, and that we have Gideon with us and we are already here, in the city, and we are getting it done. TODAY.  She was not happy.  She argued.  She yelled.  She acted like a toddler.  She embarrassed me utterly and completely. I had a wave of regret when I remembered doing something similar when I needed a tooth-filling when I was about 12 years old.  (I called Mom later the same day and apologized.  She laughed and said, "That's why your dad took you in!") But I stood my ground.  She wanted a friend from church to come give her some moral support.  I told her she had Gideon and me.  She yelled a little more, refused a little more, and then gave up.  She knew it was happening and then went into survival mode.  She was cranky and angry and giving me teen-eyes.  It didn't matter.  She got it done.  And I was thankful.  I refilled her tank and thanked Gideon for his time and support with Costa coffee.  She survived.  And so did I.

Fast forward a week to wait on results...............  Was there anything fast about the past week?  Not really.  It has been exhausting.  She hasn't felt better and I am stressed.  We did get some results on the same day.  Hey! Did I tell you India does pretty much ROCK on getting lab results back super fast?  I should brag about it, because I don't think I brag about much over here. So, yep, some results came same day, AND, bonus! they are available online.  Not that I can read them, other than what's in the "normal range" as provided (again, pretty fancy stuff going on over here providing this detail online!) and what was not in the norm.  So she was on the border with thyroid.  She was negative for blood parasites (sounds gross, glad it was negative).  She was normal for some other stuff.  Then we got back a borderline positive for some monocytes something or other and a borderline positive for Typhus.  OK so we are making progress.  She has SOMETHING.  Is it wrong for me to feel a little relieved that she does HAVE something and look forward to having her treated??  I was relieved, honestly.  So we went to see the head of the Infectious Disease department, another new doctor, at his clinic Tuesday evening, armed with results and hope.  Oh, and Gideon.  This guy was awesome.  Even better than the last assistant and doctor we saw.  Great questions, thorough, great bedside manner.  One small issue...  One lab result was missing.  A major one.  What??  How so?  I printed everything!! Turned out the printout was there, but the results were blank.  My Google diploma of medicine didn't cover what to look for if it came back and was blank.  I just thought the dash meant nothing came back.  Sigh.  Sooooo the doctor said based on everything was able to review at the time, still inconclusive.  But he would get those other results Wednesday morning and call Gideon. Hopefully with a prescription and a plan.  He also suggested we will get a scan of her belly to see if there is an enlarged spleen or kidney that might be causing the issue. 

As of last night we have a prescription and a diagnosis.  We have a strong antibiotic to treat a "light case of Typhoid" and a plan to have her scan done in the next day or two as a precaution.  She has taken one full round of meds since yesterday evening. I have done REALLY WELL since my last blog and stayed off the Googler and have not looked up all the suggestions and possibilities of illnesses.  But I did mention the typhoid possibility to a couple coworkers and they filled me with fear of the dietary restrictions and possible hospital admission for IV fluids and meds that would follow if the diagnois came back as such.  Fortunately, we aren’t quite there.  My daughter would have to NOT eat all the "good American food" she has been craving if she has a full-blown case of Typhoid, according to these guys... who, by the way, have all had Typhoid at some time or another.  Apparently (again, I haven't checked myself!) this is caused only by a bacteria in the water here - go figure - and although we got a vaccine before we left, there are four or five strains and we were only about 70% protected and only against one strain.  Anyway, the doctor said we will see how antibiotics help and talk about dietary restrictions later, only if necessary.  WHEW!  I can make her get her blood drawn, but I can't make her NOT eat when we go home next month.  That is a battle I know I would lose.  My girl likes to eat.  Wonder where she gets that from?  haha 

So that's the latest health update.  I am still praying (and appreciate your prayers!) that she gets better quickly.  We need to get her back to school and caught up on her school-work.  We need to get her feeling better because she is tired of being sick and I am tired of her being sick and we are tired of each other.  She has had a few days that she felt OK, with no fever or vomiting, and we did venture out.  But for the most part, she's been home bound and going stir crazy.

So I know this has been long... But I have more to tell you.  Do I keep going?  I will.  You go take a break.  Stretch your legs or whatever you need to do and come back later.  I'll still be here. 

Two Thursdays ago we got some very sad news.  Savannah is very close with our friends from church, Pastor Shawn and his wife, Sheralyn and their kids, Mcartney (11), Leroy (6) and Prasansha (4).  This is where she spends most of her weekends and she LOVES LOVES LOVES those babies. And they adore her as much as she loves them.  Shawn and Sher adopted all three kiddos - Mcartney in the US when she was a baby, Leroy here in India when he was a baby, and Pransansha just shortly after Savannah & I began attending Word of Life.  Pransansha's biological father attends the Word of Life Nepali church (they are from Nepal) at our same building and was a single dad.  His family had not been supportive and helpful with him working and trying to provide for her.  He met the Acheson family and after a while asked them to adopt her.  They had been praying for another child and know this was God's answer, especially because Shawn joked he didn't want another one in diapers.  Win/Win.  But Pransansha was battling cancer, which is part of the reason her Nepali family was not supportive and helpful - she was too much work.  She had been rejected over and over, so the Acheson family took her in and became her family just seven months ago.  She spoke no English when she joined them, but within about three months of living with them, she was really good.  And now she's terrific.  Her biological father is still part of her life, but he is Papa and Shawn is Daddy.  She lives, of course, with Shawn and Sher and they are finalizing paperwork, but everything in India is slow.  A couple months ago she had her last chemo and was cleared - cancer free.  Her hair has grown back and she's just a doll.  Joyful, sweet, hilarious and loving.  Savannah was there the weekend before (as usual) and Pransansha was coughing a lot and vomited a time or two.  Sav took care of her so Sher could get some rest...  Pransansha was OK most of Sunday, just laid down during dinner and was low energy.  Sher said that Monday they went to the mall and she was fine, played at the play land and full of spirit.  Tuesday night she was not feeling well and Sher noticed her belly swelling.  She made an appointment for a scan at the cancer hospital for Wednesday.  Shawn left for Nepal on Wednesday late morning with our Nepali pastor to go help plant churches up there.  The scan results came back to Sheralyn and they were not good.  Pransansha's cancer is back.  And it's aggressive.  She's been through several rounds of chemo and a surgery one which took a kidney just one year ago.  The doctor told Sher the fact that it came back within a year, and so aggressively, gives her only a 10% chance of beating it.  And chemo would be very, very hard on her little body and organs.  The tumors in her tummy are pressing on her left lung, which has already collapsed under the pressure.  She is in a lot of pain.  Sher and Shawn have decided they will not treat it and put her through further pain for such slim chances.  The doctors gave her only a few days.  They put her in the care of a hospital owned and run by a Christian family, one of a doctor from our church. They took care of her, made her as comfortable as possible. Shawn came back from Nepal and made it in late that first Friday night.  Savannah and I have spent a lot of time with them in the last two weeks.  I know Savannah's heart and I knew as soon as I spoke to Sher that we would be going, regardless of how she was feeling (yes, she was sick some of the times).  Last Wednesday they did a scan of Pransansha's tummy and it showed the tumors had stopped growing.  It was amazing news!  Pransansha has left the hospital to be comfortable at home.  They were able to give her pain patches to help with that transition, but Tuesday and Wednesday it seems the pain is coming back.  The doctor is looking into what else can be done for her pain.  Poor baby girl.  We will ask your help to please pray for the Acheson family.  They are SUCH a huge blessing for Savannah and me.  We would not be surviving here without them.  Savannah is their "foster kid" and even Dynamo has made his way over there for a weekend visit.  We love them and pray for Pransansha's comfort and peace.  We pray for no more pain.  We pray for a miracle from God to completely eradicate the tumors – cancer be gone!  And we know it can happen.  Should God's will be to take her to His Kingdom, we pray for strength and comfort and love for the family.  We pray for her brother and sister who love her so much.  We pray for her biological father, who loved her enough to want her to have a family who could and would love her and give her the life he could not.  We pray for Shawn and Sheralyn, who opened their hearts and their home, bringing love and joy to Princess Pransansha.  We pray for the kids in our church who love her smile and laugh and for understanding for them.  I pray for Savannah who also opened her heart and made a great connection with this sweet little girl.  So many prayers, but mostly God's love and comfort to all in this very sad situation.

And with that, I'll be done.  Sorry for the long stories, but know we appreciate your warm thoughts, prayers and love shown to us.  When times are hard, as they have been during the second half of this year, I am so thankful for your kind words and notes that keep me motivated and feeling loved.  We are will be home about this time next month to spend the holidays with our family and loved ones.  We are looking forward to it, and I am hoping the next four weeks will be a healthy four weeks!  Love to you all!

The Unexpected Good Bye Trip

As a girl who grew up in the same house, went to the same set of schools with the same set of friends, and lived within a 7 mile radius until I was 35, there weren't a lot of good byes due to moving and such.  When the house was packed up last July into the storage and container bins, I just cried and cried.  It was so WEIRD seeing my house empty.  It didn't feel like home.  I have now been home twice since last July and, very selfishly, do not want to visit my friend living in my house because I think I will get emotional about it not being my house anymore...  
My parents told me last month they had bought a house and were closing in early August.  I was very happy for them, as they had been looking for a while and were ready to take the plunge.  They probably overstayed their welcome in the house they bought 40+ years ago.  They were some of the first neighbors on the block, and some of the last few original owners left when they officially moved out this past Saturday.  While I truly was very happy for my parents, I was very sad for me.  Yes, I am pretty selfish sometimes, it seems.  I was so sad that I was not going to get a chance to go back to the house my brother and I grew up in and say good bye.  I was so sad that the house where the hooks in the middle of the garage from Savannah's toddler swing that she basically lived in every night while I worked late when Mom picked her up from Mary's and the pink and purple room with her name on the shelves wouldn't be greeting us when we came back for our Christmas visit.  I was so sad that the house that held so many memories of my entire life, as far back as I can remember, until just this past December, would not be where we lay our head on the next visit.  Of course, I didn't tell my parents any of these selfish woes, as I knew it was past time for them to move onto a newer and more well-kept neighborhood.  Happily, they chose a house that is only a few minutes away from mine in a very close neighborhood for when I move back to Texas.  Definitely a bonus for me.  Along with all these selfish-Nikki thoughts were the guilty-daughter thoughts of how I wish I could be there to help them pack, identifying what to take, toss and donate, especially considering I did this only a year ago with a 15 year old house (and Danielle the moving Nazi BFF to guide me), and they had 40+ years' worth of stuff to go through... it is a daunting task and oh, how I wished I could help.  I tried to offer a bit of advice here and there over text messages or phone calls and emails to Mom, but it just wasn't the same.  I felt bad.  And sad.
Fast forward to July 23.  Savannah is sick.  Again.  Vomiting and fever.  This girl has never had so many stomach issues in her entire 16 years as she has had since we arrived here.  This time is similar to the early May time when she was sick right before her birthday and my parents' & Michael's visit... bad stuff.  I had to stay home and be with her.  And my internet was down so I could not log on to work from home.  Which was also bad stuff, since my co-manager was in the States at the time, meeting our Houston and Charlotte colleagues.  Despite repeated attempts at getting the internet fixed, Airtel finally told me it would not happen until the next day, so I was stuck.  No working.  So just worrying.  Checking on Savannah.  Cool, wet washcloths on her face & neck.  Sips of water, bribery attempts of Gatorade that didn't get me very far, and only wound up coming back up.  Fever nearly 101 F, which is high for her.  And then a text message from my mom, since I had no other form of communication: My Granny had passed away.
My heart sank.  I lost my breath. How could it be?  She fought it for so long.  Between dementia, Alzheimer's, old age (87) and every other issue that cropped up, she was a fighter.  When I left last July, I cried when we left and told her good bye.  I really thought that was the last time I would see her.  I was pretty happy when we got to spend time with her again in December.  She was more lucid and talkative that trip than she had been for a few visits when I left in July.  She knew Kameryn was Kameryn (she often mistook her for Savannah at that age), she knew Savannah was Savannah (she often mistook her for my cousin Shelly), and she knew who I was.  She wasn't quite sure about Kate, but when I reminded her Brett and Lisa had another baby, she figured that was plausible and was happy to meet her (again).  She played with Kam and enjoyed chatting with us.  We didn't tell her we were living in India and it didn't come up.  It was a good visit.  Here's a picture of Kameryn giving Granny some big hugs before we left.

Kam & Granny, Dec, 2012

So Granny was sick off and on,  but my Aunt Gale took great care of her, making sure she was in a nice facility and had the care she needed.  Dad went by to visit often.  I know it wasn't easy on them or their spouses, but they did what they needed to do.  Sometimes Granny's dementia made her ornery or just plain cranky and mean, so a visit might have been cut short, but they would go right back in a day or two and hope for better results.  Savannah and I usually went on Sundays after church before we moved and tried to bring Kate and Kam as often as we could, since we knew how much Granny loved the babies.  She would tell us funny stories she must have dreamed up.  One of our favorites was how Kameryn (sometimes this is when she confused Kam for Savannah at her age) snuck out of her house and went to spend the night with Granny.  And nobody knew where that girl had gone, and her momma and daddy were so worried about her, but she just told her, "It's OK, Granny.  I am just gonna sleep here in your bed with you.  They can get me later!"  Yes, Granny had quite the active imagination and could not figure out how the 3 or 4 year old made it the 15-20 mile trek all on her own, but, by golly, she did it because she loved and missed her Granny!  Funny stuff.
OK back to our story.... So Savannah is sick, running fever and can't keep anything down.  I have no internet or phone to call internationally.  And it is about 3 AM in India.  I need to get a hold of HR, get details of my bereavement/compassion time and find a flight back to Houston.  I need to get home to my family.  Oh, and I need to get my kid well.  And I need to be working because Asif is in the US.  And I need to get details from HR.  And I need to call my family.  And I need to be on a plane.  And I need to.... yes, this was my brain for a few hours.  I was so fortunate that my 3G was working on my phone and used work IM to get a hold of US HR and get a few details I needed to get the going-home ball rolling. And then I stayed awake long enough to call my admin Super-Man, Gideon, and get some help getting Savannah in to see a doctor.  I had to get her well.  And I needed to do laundry.  And pack.  But I couldn't tell Savannah until I knew she would be OK and not make herself sicker, because she and Granny were very close.  Sigh.  This living 10,000 miles away from home business is pretty stressful at times.  Airtel came out at some point and fixed the internet.  I am pretty sure I napped for a few hours somewhere in that day.  Savannah's fever dropped and she successfully held down water.  I waited on HR to confirm approval for travel.  We still traveled the nearly two hours in traffic to see the doctor, although the kiddo was feeling a bit better.  On the way, she started feeling pretty puny again.  We had planned a long weekend to Bangalore - our first real "out of Chennai" trip - as she was out of school Friday-Tuesday, and she was trying to get me to confirm the trip would still happen and she was determined to get better.  I skirted around the conversation and said she had to get better before I could plan anything, but told her she might want to get a shot to get better sooner.  She was not having any part of that conversation.  I finally had to tell her we needed to go home.  And then Granny had passed.  It was a quiet trip to the doctor's office, but she conceded to a shot if necessary.  He said it was just a bug and she could travel as long as she wasn't vomiting.  So it looked promising.  Until we got in the car and headed home.  Then we were thankful we had a plastic bag with us...  Ugh. We finally got home. I checked and there were still a few Friday early departure seats left.  I was ready to book it.  But she was still vomiting and the fever came back.  Talk about a stressed-out mom...  Back to the washrags, Gatorade and water-sipping.  Prayers for my girl to get better so we can book and leave and make it to the service on Saturday, begging God to get her well so we can be back with the family.  I was so worried about my dad.  I just wanted to hug him and be with him.  
She woke up around 9 feeling better.  I got confirmation by noon that the flight was booked.  Of course nothing could be that easy around here... as I tried to log onto my work laptop with my working internet, the wifi would not connect.  No issues on my phone or personal laptop, but the work one wasn't connecting.  So I had to call IT to ask them to look at it, call my driver to come pick it up and take it to the office, coordinate getting Dynamo over to our Lakshmi's house, pack and everything else.  Savannah didn't have a lot of energy still, so she wasn't much help.  Guess who was?  Yep, poor Gideon!  he coordinated the laptop repair and doggy movement, offered sending help to pack or escort to the airport for us.  Think maybe I sounded a little stressed to him?  LOL  In any event, we made it.  Once our rear ends were on the plane at 4 AM on Friday morning, I think I finally started breathing again.  21 hours later we were in Houston and within another half an hour I was hugging my Daddy.  Relief!
Yes, this is long. Sorry.  Almost done, promise.  The next two weeks flew by.  We had a lovely viewing and service for Granny.  She was at peace.  It was good.  I got to catch up with cousins I only get to see on Facebook, and spend time with my family.  We got to celebrate with my mom on her birthday.  I got uninturrupted daughter/parent time with a day trip, just us.  We got to help my parents move.  I got to help my mom place some decorative pieces in the new home.  I got to say good bye to the house I grew up in.  And I only cried a little.  I got to go see a play with Danielle, which I was super jealous "everyone" was going to see but me.  Michael took vacation the second week and we got some alone time together for a couple days.  He helped my parents with the new house, too.  My brother and his wife spent a lot of time with us helping with the move, too, and I got to love on my nieces. 
It was a quick and hectic trip.  But God knew when we needed to get home.  God knew Savannah was missing her cousins and needed a little boost to push us through the end of 2013.  God knew my parents needed us home to help get through the move.  And God knew I needed to say good bye
I am more and more thankful every day.  I know God hears our heart, even when we don't know exactly what we are feeling...

Psalm 18:6 (NIV)

⁶ In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice;
    my cry came before him, into his ears.

We are back in Chennai for about 28 hours now.  I worked last night and Savannah will be getting up for school soon.  Back to the normalcy of never-ending honking, cows blocking traffic and being stared at for being too pale.  But it's also back to the church family and friends we missed so much.  Back to snoozing with Dynamo and watching the world around us through a fresh set of eyes.  Back to feeling thankful.

Hope everyone is doing well and we really appreciate the prayers and thoughts for our safe journey and healing of Savannah.  Your notes of encouragement and condolences helped get us through.  Thank you all.  We love you! 

May - What a month!

Has it really been a month since I blogged??  While that feels like such a long time, the month has flown by.  After the wedding I told you about last time, Savannah and I both came down with a very ugly stomach bug with every symptom you can think of.  It was no fun and ran strong for 36 hours, lingered pretty heavily for a full week and still seems to bother Savannah every few meals.  We were almost completely out of commission for a week, which was pretty bad timing considering all the plans we had for this month.  
To start, my baby girl turned 16 on May 4.  I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around this, considering I am 29 and holding.  My age when she was born gets less and less believable as she gets older.  Sigh.  She was really sick Tuesday and Wednesday and I was really sick Thursday and Friday.  Her birthday was Saturday and I dragged myself out of bed and put a smile on my face.  We went with our friend, Cherie, to the spa nearby and spoiled her with a manicure and facial.  We then went downtown to the Hyatt for a birthday dinner with the Tom's, as Cherie's hubby was celebrating his birthday as well.  He turned 61 and they joked about the reverse years.  Unfortunately, dinner wasn't a hit because Savannah started feeling bad again and barely ate.  Quite a bummer.  Before she started feeling bad, though, we did get a few good pictures of the day.

After her mani

Bday twins, Tom & Savannah

My beautiful 16 year old

After the birthday celebrations were complete, we anxiously awaited the arrival of our guests.  Mom & Dad left the US on Sunday and arrived in Chennai Tuesday morning.  Michael left Tuesday evening and arrived Thursday morning.  It was a wonderful week with them arriving, even though we really weren't quite feeling 100% yet.  Although, I must admit just having them all here made us start feeling better pretty quickly.  Amazing how that happens, huh?  I completed my work week and Savannah (along with Cherie) hosted them out for lunch and shopping a couple days.  We celebrated Savannah's birthday with the family Saturday evening at Mom's favorite restaurant here, Barbeque Nation, and Michael gifted Savannah her first pair of real diamond earrings.  Her brother sent her a new-used iPhone (her iPod screen was cracked and only worked intermittently), and she received donations from several friends and family members to help buy a TV and DVD for the Home of Hope, as requested.  She was reminded how blessed she is to have such loving and generous friends and family.
That Sunday night we headed on our trip, first stop: Singapore.  We had a terrific time.  We made arrangements through a friend of a friend.  This is the first time I had ever used any type of travel agency and I am so glad we did - it was stress-free, didn't have to worry about car arrangements, hotel bookings, tour planning... In Singapore we stayed at a beautiful Landmark hotel, complete with a coy pond inside and a wonderful view of the city.  We enjoyed a city tour that included a stop at the Singapore Flyer (which was awesome!), the Merlion and harbor, the Raffles Hotel, a couple shopping stops and I can't remember what else.  We also did a night safari tour, complete with a fire dancer show and some awesome animals.  We went to Sentosa Island and visited the largest aquarium in the world, saw a dolphins and sea lion show, watched a penguin feeding, and Savannah & I beat Michael riding the luge.  The last stop in Singapore was the Jurong Bird Park. 
We headed to the airport and took our hour-long flight over to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on Wednesday evening.  The airport is set about an hour from the KL city, but we had an even longer drive that evening as we were going directly to the Genting Highlands for a couple nights.  It was a drizzly night in KL and was raining even heavier when we got to the mountains.  Fortunately our driver said he made this path several times a week and the wet, winding roads didn't phase him.  When we finally reached the top of the hill and our hotel, it was time to eat a bite and head to bed.  We woke up Thursday and went to the outdoor theme park and rode roller coasters, bumper cars and go-karts.  Fun day with the family.  It's a pretty small park so it didn't take all day.  After the park, Dad was tired so Mom, Savannah, Michael and I went on the cable car ride through the mountains.  It was amazingly beautiful as the clouds rolled in and out over the lush green trees and forest.  After the cable car ride, we wandered around the inside theme park that included shopping and foods.  The four of us took a rest break and had our first experience with fish eating our feet.  Well, not our whole feet, but the dead skin (which sounds really gross, huh?) that tickled like crazy.  Fun experience but I am not sure I'll be doing that again anytime soon...  
Friday morning we packed up and moved into Kuala Lumpur for the weekend.  Our hotel was great, again, and we did a city tour to start our time there.  We stopped at the Batu Caves where Michael and I climbed all nearly 300 stairs while Mom, Dad & Savannah shopped in the (again) drizzly rain. We saw a few monkeys on the statue, stairs and gate and were pretty excited.  We also made a trek to the National Monument, National Mosque, the KL Tower and the old king's palace.  It was very interesting to visit this country which is so heavily influenced by the Islamic religion.  The national monument had an inscription that referenced Allah, where the same might reference God in the US.  With all the ugly references to Islam made due to the radical terrorists in the western world, it was wonderful to spend a peaceful week in this country that was friendly and warm to us as visitors.  I hope this visit shapes Savannah's heart and mind in a positive way, allowing her to be understanding and respectful of other religions while standing firm in her Christian beliefs, always showing love and tolerance.  
Friday night we shopped a bit at Bukit Bintang, which is a popular shopping spot with a range of very high end shops to street vendors with knock off watches and electronics.  It was lots of fun.
Saturday we didn't do much until it was time to go to our boat ride we had booked.  We were going to see a firefly display about an hour out of the city in Kuala Selangor and I was pretty excited since I love boat rides.  On the way, we stopped at Silver Leaf and got to visit with and feed some friendly monkeys.  Savannah and Michael really enjoyed it and Michael even had one sit on his shoulder while some others tried to steal the bananas from his pockets.  After our monkey visit we finished our journey to Selangor and had Chinese dinner (I know many of you are laughing right now, knowing this is NOT something Nikki usually eats... but you'd be surprised at how my palette has expanded in the past year!) over a beautiful sunset on the river.  After dinner we hopped on the boat and got to see flashing fireflies on the river banks for almost an hour.  It was as if someone had strung some blinking Christmas lights through the thick brush.  (I think I might do this and charge a fee in Spring Creek when I get back home - calling it firefly tours LOL)  Mom kept saying how cute they were, while Savannah had a mini-meltdown, being reminded my daughter is not a huge fan of after-dark boat rides...  We all survived and after the car ride back to the hotel, she was in better spirits.  
Sunday we woke up and got ready for our final excursion, which was a trip to an elephant sanctuary a couple hours outside the city.  It was awesome!  We got to feed the elephants sugar cane and peanuts, watched them do some tricks and then Savannah & Michael got in the river and splashed around and bathed a baby elephant.  This was a fitting end to a great week, but even more significant because it was May 19.  4 years ago on May 19, Maura de Souza, the baby sister of one of my dearest friends, passed away after a battle with Sarcoma cancer.  Maura was a wonderful young woman, amazingly strong, hilarious, full of life and love, and a blessing to those around her.  I am a better person for having known her and thankful for the impact she has made on my life and those around her.  Maura loved elephants.  I was happy to celebrate her life in Malaysia in a way that would make her smile.
If you want to see pictures (um... yeah, there are a bunch - be warned) feel free to click HERE and scroll through them all.  Otherwise, here are a few below of the highlights.
We left KL early Monday morning and relaxed Monday until we were back at Barbeque Nation (at Mom's request) for a nice family dinner.  The rest of the week we did some running around in Chennai, taking the family to Spencer's Plaza for some handicraft gifts and souvenirs, meeting up with some friends from church for yummy ice cream, and a nice dinner with Tom and Cherie at a local cafe we enjoy... but we decided the outside venue would have to wait until after the peak of summer (we are reaching 42 Celsius here these days, which is 107+ for my Fahrenheit friends)  and even with the sun down and fan blowing, it was just entirely too hot. So that took us to Friday.  The day everyone left.  Michael's flight was at 4:30 AM so I rode with him to the airport at 1 and cried most of the way there.  And then dropped him and cried most of the way back.  After a few hours of sleep, I woke up knowing Mom & Dad were leaving next.  So after more crying, I pulled myself together and came out of my room to visit and spend the last hours together.  I have never been such a big cry baby in my life, but I guess certain life experiences bring it out in us...  Being 10,000 miles away from my family, best friends, and the man I love is rough.  I am thankful for the strength of prayer, God sending us to Word of Life church and the great friends we have made there, and my friends from work who help relieve the sadness of missing them.  I am so blessed and thankful that my parents can (and WILL!) make the long journey to come see us, not to mention Michael, who doesn't like to fly.  
So... yeah.  There's May for ya.  Hoping there aren't any grammar issues here, as this has taken forever to write and I am ready to be off the laptop.  Forgive me, if so.  And enjoy the pictures in the meantime.
Thanks to all who prayed for Mom, Dad and Michael during travels and for Savannah and me when we were sick.  We love you all and hope everyone is doing well!

Mom and me in Singapore

Savannah, Nana & Pawpaw in Singapore

Michael and me at the Merlion

Savannah enjoying a drink from the Merlion while I show off my fabulous photog skills LOL

Daddy and me at the Sentosa Aquarium

Cable car ride in Genting

Fish feasting on our dead skin

Batu Caves in KL

Sav & me at the old king's palace

Savannah & her Pawpaw

National Mosque in KL

KL Tower

Beautiful fountain in Bukit Bintang

My parents and Savannah on the plane to Singapore

View from the Singapore Flyer

Fire dancers at the night safari

Sunset at Sentosa

Michael and his new BFF (as long as he has bananas)

Sunset before our firefly tour

Feeding sugar cane to the 4 year old elephant

Savannah (teal) and Michael (no shirt) bathing the baby elephant

My mother got my daughter addicted to slot machine games on the iPhone on this trip. 

Dynamo loves his Pawpaw