December Better get Better REAL Quick-like

So… Indian hospitals.  We took Savannah to the one by our house back in May when she had a month of stomach issues – near daily vomiting after a pretty ugly virus – for an ER visit.  And she swore she wouldn’t go back to that one or any other.  My daughter is a bit of a medical wimp.  She gets it honest, really… I am not much braver.  I still faint when I have blood drawn.  But I am an adult and use logic and know when things need to happen and tests need to be run and so on.  She is a teenager and doesn’t quite understand all that.  Of course nobody WANTS to have blood drawn, injections or hospital stays.  But most people, when feeling bad enough, will concede and let logic take over the fear or emotion involved.  Not my kid.  She is SO hard headed.  She might get that honest, too…   I knew when she called me into her room around 5 AM on Monday that something was wrong.  I found her with a fever, trembling and looking pretty terrible.  I gave her a couple Tylenol, a big cup of water, a cold rag on her neck and lay down with her.  She had been complaining all weekend about knots on her head behind her right ear.  That pain, coupled with the fever was enough for me.  I sent Gideon a message to let him know we needed to get her into the doctor on the same day.  And last time we were there, the doc suggested a hospital stay to do all necessary tests in one shot.  Knowing Savannah well enough, I declined but kept it in the back of my head.  Monday morning I changed my mind.  I had to figure out how to break the news to my anxiety-ridden daughter.  I decided we were going with me sneaking a packed bag into the car and letting the doctor be the mean one.  Yep, I am THAT mom.  And it was a good plan.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to work because all her clothes, for once, were in her room and not out in the wash area (AKA dining area).  Dang it all!  So then I decided we would go with the love and logic route.  After giving myself a pep talk and knowing as long as I keep my emotions in check (have I mentioned I am a crier these days?) and sound positive, loving, and concerned, she will have to understand and agree that the hospital admission is the way to go. Right?  Wrong.  This child used every ounce of her energy, which wasn’t much, to argue, yell, physically get in the way of me packing a bag and then locked herself in the bathroom, refusing to go.  Yep.  My sixteen-year-old turned into a toddler.  And honestly, I expected it.  She’s terrified.  She’s sick.  She’s miserable.  And I was forcing her to do the very thing she was most against.  So after I raised my voice she left the room and let me pack her bag.  That was when she locked herself in the bathroom.  When I told her if she didn’t open the door I would have the maintenance men come by and take it off the hinges (and I was serious), she angrily complied.  I was too stressed to use logic anymore and emotion took over.  I cried when I told her I don’t know what is wrong with her and we can’t figure it out until she gets more tests.  I told her I was sorry she’s already had blood drawn three times and nothing has come back conclusive.  I told her I wish there was another way, but let’s make the best decision and get her admitted, get any and all tests done in one shot and get her well.  I reminded her she has already missed over FOUR weeks of school and if she really wants to graduate this year then she has to get back in there and get caught up.  I reminded her that in less than three weeks we are heading back to Texas for our holiday break and she needs to be healthy enough to travel, not to mention enjoy her time there.  I told her I don’t always know the right or best decision, but I know we need to do this to get her well.  She was still angry, wouldn’t speak to me, but got dressed.

We picked up Gideon on the way and she was silent for the entire car ride.  We met the doctor a little over an hour later.  He was concerned with her high fever, asked a few questions which she refused to answer since she was still in non-speaking teenager mode.  I answered most of the questions, but the doctor wanted to hear from her.  He is a nice man.  He understands her anxiety and spoke to her with compassion.  He explained that the tests already taken do not indicate what is wrong and he wants to do a few more and observe her.  She finally acknowledges him but says she doesn’t want to be admitted.  Ultimately, she was admitted and the first test to be done was a CT scan. 

Monday night passed pretty quickly.  She had quite a few visitors and she was in pretty good spirits (Thank you to those who came and took the heat off mean mom!)  There was no CT scan, though.  I asked at least five times and the nurses all said they were checking or the scan centre was full and would call when it’s time.  They never called.  When I went out at 3 am to ask for a blanket (again) and just stood at the nurse’s station until a blanket came, I asked about the CT scan.  One of the girls told me it was now scheduled for 8 AM and they would come get us.  OK.  Blanket in hand, back to the – oh, let’s call it a “bed” – in the room and a few hours of tossing and turning with a few naps woven in there, 8 AM comes.  Shortly after, I am up and walking to the door to go find out, and a nurse comes in, hands Savannah some hospital issue clothes to change into and a wheelchair for the ride down.  She does the scans for her chest and abdomen after a small wait and heads back to the room.  In the meantime, we snuck a visitor in outside of visiting hours (yes, we are quite the rule-breakers!) and she shared some smiles and laughs with her friend, Sandra, while we waited.  Not too long after Sandra left, Gideon came by to check on the patient.  She was still having the pain behind her ear and the usual no-appetite, but nothing else at the moment.  The nurse came back a bit later and said the scans were clear, which was good news.  But it didn’t tell us what was wrong.  Sigh.  After a couple hours, the doctor called Gideon and said she would stay another night as we wait for a fever.  It was sounding like malaria was the culprit, but it will often only show up during a blood test taken when the infected has a fever.  So, oddly, we were hoping and praying for a fever.  Praying for a fever and a diagnosis and a treatment plan and health.  But no fever came.  Tuesday ended, we are mid-afternoon Wednesday and there’s still no fever.  So it’s about time to start the discharge process, which is fine.  I am over being here.  Savannah is over being here.  There isn’t anything productive going on, no real monitoring of her food, drink or other levels.  Nothing I can’t do in the comfort of our own home, anyway.  Like everything else here, I am sure the discharge process will take time.  I don’t expect to leave before at least two hours pass, probably three.  Maybe they’ll surprise me.  (PS, editing from home and it took a cool 3.5 hours to discharge…)

So the next steps… wait for a fever.  Take her to local clinic and get a blood test if and when it comes back.  Make her eat.  Make her drink.  Pray.  Then, when we get back to Houston, take her to see her regular doctor.  Maybe the comforts of the good ol’ USA will help ease her anxiety and we can complete some tests there.  Suggestions include another blood test (won’t she be thrilled?) and endoscopy (another fun conversation, I am sure) to start.  We will bring all her records with us so he can see everything we have done and get his thoughts…

Changing the subject completely, and while I realize this is really long, I need to let you know that little Prasansha passed away last Thursday.  She was in a lot of pain from the tumors and left us around 2 PM IST.  Indian customs surrounding death are quite different than that of the western world.  Christians in India are buried.  Hindus are cremated.  There’s no crossover or option for this to vary.  And there’s no funeral parlor to come pick up the family member (she passed at their home) and prepare the body for burial.  Generally there is a refrigerated box brought to the home or a place of the family’s choosing in which the deceased is displayed for friends, family and neighbors to come and pay respects.  Or gawk.  Or who knows what else.  The Acheson’s did not want that, so they went with a same-day burial.  Fortunately, another family handled all arrangements when Prasansha first fell sick a few weeks back, so this was possible.  The casket people came to measure her.  Dr. Rajiv from our church came by and helped prepare her little body by cleaning and dressing her.  The service was set for 5:30 PM at a nearby cemetery.  The casket guys came back around 5 ready to pick up and transport her body.  Turned out the little casket was an inch or two too short. As with most things here, proper measurements were not taken and they eye-balled it.  And her little legs were bent at the knees.  Shawn mentioned this was pretty normal for India – “good enough” – but in the US (and Canada, from which they hail), good enough is NOT good enough.  We expect perfection and we expect above and beyond.  Keeping in mind her soul was gone to be with Jesus and it was only her “earthly vessel” – it had to be OK.  (I don’t know what they are called here, so we will keep referring to the casket guys as such.) The casket guys carried her downstairs from the apartment with no lid and put her into a beat up little van.  Again, back home this would not be acceptable.  The departed would be taken by a nice and clean, shiny hearse from one place to another, so this was just overwhelming.  The Acheson house emptied and we all went to the cemetery.  The most crowded cemetery I have ever seen.  Now, I don’t do cemeteries or ghost stories or scary walks around Halloween like some people do.  I don’t like to be scared, so maybe there are crowded cemeteries like this back in the US, but I am ok not knowing this.  We got there as the sun was setting and the casket guys kept telling Shawn and Sheralyn they should have done it earlier to avoid being there after dark.  Thanks for the newsflash.  Things happened as fast as India would let them, and we were all there now.  Sheralyn’s mom was Skyped in for the quick eulogy.  Well, I think it was quick.  I don’t remember a lot.  I didn’t hear what the pastor who was speaking said.  I remember they offered to let everyone walk by the casket, which was already in the shallow grave, before they put the lid on.  I chose not to see her after she passed.  She was very thin last weekend and that was hard enough for me to see.  I know she lost more weight in the next few days.  I wanted to remember her with her little chipmunk cheeks, big smile and sweet fresh head of hair instead of the sickly little girl who came in the last three weeks.  After everyone who wanted to had filed by, they hammered the lid on.  Yes. They hammered the lid on.  Drove the nails in.  Right there.   Man, it was hard to hear.  And to see the kids crying over the loss of their friend.  And sister.  Leroy, her six-year old brother, stayed in Shawn’s arms and cried during most of the service.  Realization that his little buddy had left was setting in.  Mcartney, her 11-year old sister, is more analytical and logical about it.  Or else the reality hasn’t made its way to her yet.  We will miss that sweet girl.  So funny, so happy, and so confident after only a few short months with the Acheson family.  We are blessed to have known her and will always have a little spot on our hearts carved out just for Princess Prasansha of Nepal, adopted by Canadians living in India. 

I am sure I have left out some important parts of the days leading up to and hours during and after and days following her death.  It has been a whirlwind of emotions here the past weeks and days.  I am amazed at the faith and strength Shawn and Sher are able to have during such a difficult time.  They came to visit Savannah Monday.  Less than a week after they buried their baby girl, they were here for us, offering moral, spiritual and support as friends and family.  I don’t understand how they can be at a hospital so quickly, but they are.  They know she is with our Savior, dancing and laughing, in no more pain.  They know she spent her last almost year building her confidence with the love of a family.  They know she died peacefully.  Loved by not only a family, but knowing the love of Jesus Christ.  We should all be so lucky to have that spiritual confidence at any age.  We will miss her.  The Acheson’s will host a celebration of life service next Monday or Tuesday evening so all those who could not attend her burial can help remember Prasansha.

OK.  So this is long enough.  I am hoping the next blog post will be about how Savannah is healed and back to her normal bratty teenager self.  We both thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts as we move through some tougher times here in India.  We are looking forward to a little H-town love from our family and friends in the upcoming few weeks.  And Tex-Mex.  I am pretty sure I’ll feel better after I have some Guadalajara in my belly… after a few big hugs from my parents, brother and family, and Michael, to start.  Again, we appreciate your prayers, warm thoughts and good vibes as we work to figure out what is ailing Savannah and for our safe travels mid-month.  You are all a blessing to us!  Love from Chennai!

November Rain

The last time I blogged I was feeling pretty frustrated and helpless.  I haven't posted anything in the past couple weeks because not a lot has changed and I figure you don't need to hear my whining.  My kiddo has now missed three weeks of school.  We went to a new doctor when the initial blood work came back and was not conclusive but the symptoms stayed.  The original doc said he thinks she is depressed, missing home.  Well, of course she's missing home.  I am, too.  But missing home doesn't give you a pretty steady fever for more than three days and a monthly recurrence of the same fever, usually coupled with vomiting or nausea.  We went to the big international hospital here, Apollo, and met with a senior doc in the Infectious Disease department.  Savannah was repulsed by the department name.  "Oh my gosh, what do they think I have???" 

Let me tell you a little about this visit...  This hospital is big, like one of the bigger hospitals in our Houston medical center, to help my Texas friends relate.  And it's filled with different desks and sub-departments because we're in India and that's how we do it over here.  We like to make things as confusing as possible.  I had a hunch this was going to be pretty complicated for my American-self and asked Gideon if he could join us in advance.  Savannah wasn't feeling better.  She was closing out the second full week of being sick, and I was sick at this point, too.  I just had congestion and sinus issues, but enough that I was feeling pretty lousy and thought it best to have an "Indian representative" to help with language barriers and cranky American issues.  Sometimes I make pretty good decisions and this was one of them.  Thank GOD Gideon was with us.  Although Apollo is an internationally recognized hospital, and even has a department JUST FOR foreigners, there was lots of Tamil going on and lots of "go here, fill this, do that, not this, pay here, see him, go there."  Had Gideon not been with us at the start, I can assure you I would have started crying (or gone to Indian jail for assault and battery) about 10 minutes in and he would have wound up there in the end.  Anyway, Saint Gideon helped us through the myriad of desks and departments to finally meet the good doctor.  We were too late, after all the desk hopping, to meet the one he wanted to see, but we were meeting second in charge.  I'll take it.  But first we met with a doctor's assistant.  Super nice guy, listened to everything we had to say about Savannah's symptoms and asked quite a few questions we didn't already cover.  He told us it sounds like Typhoid based on her pattern of fever and vomiting and could be easily treated, not to worry.  To properly diagnose we will get a culture and watch it grow for about a week.  Savannah was on high alert at that point: What kind of culture??  He answered simply, "A blood test.  A prick.  Nothing to worry."  My poor kid.  She really did get a lot of my better qualities, but the anxiety over blood tests and needles is not one of them.  I told her relax, we were still going to talk to the main doctor and maybe he could tell something from the other tests.  There was no calming her down.  Sigh.  So the assistant laughed a bit, ok, a lot, and sent us to see the main guy with his set of notes.  What was the first thing out of Savannah's mouth?  "I am not getting a blood test."  Nice.  Deep Mom sigh.  I smile, tell him I'm sorry, and he smiles.  Nice man.  He reads through the notes and has another discussion, similar to the one we just had.  He's thorough and it's good.  He suspects maybe mononucleosis or even something thyroid-related. There's more talk of blood test.  He knows she is not wanting it, and says to avoid it for now, we can check her temperature at several times a day for four days and then come back to have it done if there's a pattern.  She was shaking her head through the entire conversation, "No, no blood test."  I had to be the mean mom.  I had to be the mom who is looking out for her best interests, and in this case, looking out for her health.  I put on the "don't mess with me" voice and face, and told her we are NOT waiting four more days to get this done.  I reminded her she had already missed two full weeks of school, I had missed several nights of work, we needed to be able to go home with her healthy in a month, and that we have Gideon with us and we are already here, in the city, and we are getting it done. TODAY.  She was not happy.  She argued.  She yelled.  She acted like a toddler.  She embarrassed me utterly and completely. I had a wave of regret when I remembered doing something similar when I needed a tooth-filling when I was about 12 years old.  (I called Mom later the same day and apologized.  She laughed and said, "That's why your dad took you in!") But I stood my ground.  She wanted a friend from church to come give her some moral support.  I told her she had Gideon and me.  She yelled a little more, refused a little more, and then gave up.  She knew it was happening and then went into survival mode.  She was cranky and angry and giving me teen-eyes.  It didn't matter.  She got it done.  And I was thankful.  I refilled her tank and thanked Gideon for his time and support with Costa coffee.  She survived.  And so did I.

Fast forward a week to wait on results...............  Was there anything fast about the past week?  Not really.  It has been exhausting.  She hasn't felt better and I am stressed.  We did get some results on the same day.  Hey! Did I tell you India does pretty much ROCK on getting lab results back super fast?  I should brag about it, because I don't think I brag about much over here. So, yep, some results came same day, AND, bonus! they are available online.  Not that I can read them, other than what's in the "normal range" as provided (again, pretty fancy stuff going on over here providing this detail online!) and what was not in the norm.  So she was on the border with thyroid.  She was negative for blood parasites (sounds gross, glad it was negative).  She was normal for some other stuff.  Then we got back a borderline positive for some monocytes something or other and a borderline positive for Typhus.  OK so we are making progress.  She has SOMETHING.  Is it wrong for me to feel a little relieved that she does HAVE something and look forward to having her treated??  I was relieved, honestly.  So we went to see the head of the Infectious Disease department, another new doctor, at his clinic Tuesday evening, armed with results and hope.  Oh, and Gideon.  This guy was awesome.  Even better than the last assistant and doctor we saw.  Great questions, thorough, great bedside manner.  One small issue...  One lab result was missing.  A major one.  What??  How so?  I printed everything!! Turned out the printout was there, but the results were blank.  My Google diploma of medicine didn't cover what to look for if it came back and was blank.  I just thought the dash meant nothing came back.  Sigh.  Sooooo the doctor said based on everything was able to review at the time, still inconclusive.  But he would get those other results Wednesday morning and call Gideon. Hopefully with a prescription and a plan.  He also suggested we will get a scan of her belly to see if there is an enlarged spleen or kidney that might be causing the issue. 

As of last night we have a prescription and a diagnosis.  We have a strong antibiotic to treat a "light case of Typhoid" and a plan to have her scan done in the next day or two as a precaution.  She has taken one full round of meds since yesterday evening. I have done REALLY WELL since my last blog and stayed off the Googler and have not looked up all the suggestions and possibilities of illnesses.  But I did mention the typhoid possibility to a couple coworkers and they filled me with fear of the dietary restrictions and possible hospital admission for IV fluids and meds that would follow if the diagnois came back as such.  Fortunately, we aren’t quite there.  My daughter would have to NOT eat all the "good American food" she has been craving if she has a full-blown case of Typhoid, according to these guys... who, by the way, have all had Typhoid at some time or another.  Apparently (again, I haven't checked myself!) this is caused only by a bacteria in the water here - go figure - and although we got a vaccine before we left, there are four or five strains and we were only about 70% protected and only against one strain.  Anyway, the doctor said we will see how antibiotics help and talk about dietary restrictions later, only if necessary.  WHEW!  I can make her get her blood drawn, but I can't make her NOT eat when we go home next month.  That is a battle I know I would lose.  My girl likes to eat.  Wonder where she gets that from?  haha 

So that's the latest health update.  I am still praying (and appreciate your prayers!) that she gets better quickly.  We need to get her back to school and caught up on her school-work.  We need to get her feeling better because she is tired of being sick and I am tired of her being sick and we are tired of each other.  She has had a few days that she felt OK, with no fever or vomiting, and we did venture out.  But for the most part, she's been home bound and going stir crazy.

So I know this has been long... But I have more to tell you.  Do I keep going?  I will.  You go take a break.  Stretch your legs or whatever you need to do and come back later.  I'll still be here. 

Two Thursdays ago we got some very sad news.  Savannah is very close with our friends from church, Pastor Shawn and his wife, Sheralyn and their kids, Mcartney (11), Leroy (6) and Prasansha (4).  This is where she spends most of her weekends and she LOVES LOVES LOVES those babies. And they adore her as much as she loves them.  Shawn and Sher adopted all three kiddos - Mcartney in the US when she was a baby, Leroy here in India when he was a baby, and Pransansha just shortly after Savannah & I began attending Word of Life.  Pransansha's biological father attends the Word of Life Nepali church (they are from Nepal) at our same building and was a single dad.  His family had not been supportive and helpful with him working and trying to provide for her.  He met the Acheson family and after a while asked them to adopt her.  They had been praying for another child and know this was God's answer, especially because Shawn joked he didn't want another one in diapers.  Win/Win.  But Pransansha was battling cancer, which is part of the reason her Nepali family was not supportive and helpful - she was too much work.  She had been rejected over and over, so the Acheson family took her in and became her family just seven months ago.  She spoke no English when she joined them, but within about three months of living with them, she was really good.  And now she's terrific.  Her biological father is still part of her life, but he is Papa and Shawn is Daddy.  She lives, of course, with Shawn and Sher and they are finalizing paperwork, but everything in India is slow.  A couple months ago she had her last chemo and was cleared - cancer free.  Her hair has grown back and she's just a doll.  Joyful, sweet, hilarious and loving.  Savannah was there the weekend before (as usual) and Pransansha was coughing a lot and vomited a time or two.  Sav took care of her so Sher could get some rest...  Pransansha was OK most of Sunday, just laid down during dinner and was low energy.  Sher said that Monday they went to the mall and she was fine, played at the play land and full of spirit.  Tuesday night she was not feeling well and Sher noticed her belly swelling.  She made an appointment for a scan at the cancer hospital for Wednesday.  Shawn left for Nepal on Wednesday late morning with our Nepali pastor to go help plant churches up there.  The scan results came back to Sheralyn and they were not good.  Pransansha's cancer is back.  And it's aggressive.  She's been through several rounds of chemo and a surgery one which took a kidney just one year ago.  The doctor told Sher the fact that it came back within a year, and so aggressively, gives her only a 10% chance of beating it.  And chemo would be very, very hard on her little body and organs.  The tumors in her tummy are pressing on her left lung, which has already collapsed under the pressure.  She is in a lot of pain.  Sher and Shawn have decided they will not treat it and put her through further pain for such slim chances.  The doctors gave her only a few days.  They put her in the care of a hospital owned and run by a Christian family, one of a doctor from our church. They took care of her, made her as comfortable as possible. Shawn came back from Nepal and made it in late that first Friday night.  Savannah and I have spent a lot of time with them in the last two weeks.  I know Savannah's heart and I knew as soon as I spoke to Sher that we would be going, regardless of how she was feeling (yes, she was sick some of the times).  Last Wednesday they did a scan of Pransansha's tummy and it showed the tumors had stopped growing.  It was amazing news!  Pransansha has left the hospital to be comfortable at home.  They were able to give her pain patches to help with that transition, but Tuesday and Wednesday it seems the pain is coming back.  The doctor is looking into what else can be done for her pain.  Poor baby girl.  We will ask your help to please pray for the Acheson family.  They are SUCH a huge blessing for Savannah and me.  We would not be surviving here without them.  Savannah is their "foster kid" and even Dynamo has made his way over there for a weekend visit.  We love them and pray for Pransansha's comfort and peace.  We pray for no more pain.  We pray for a miracle from God to completely eradicate the tumors – cancer be gone!  And we know it can happen.  Should God's will be to take her to His Kingdom, we pray for strength and comfort and love for the family.  We pray for her brother and sister who love her so much.  We pray for her biological father, who loved her enough to want her to have a family who could and would love her and give her the life he could not.  We pray for Shawn and Sheralyn, who opened their hearts and their home, bringing love and joy to Princess Pransansha.  We pray for the kids in our church who love her smile and laugh and for understanding for them.  I pray for Savannah who also opened her heart and made a great connection with this sweet little girl.  So many prayers, but mostly God's love and comfort to all in this very sad situation.

And with that, I'll be done.  Sorry for the long stories, but know we appreciate your warm thoughts, prayers and love shown to us.  When times are hard, as they have been during the second half of this year, I am so thankful for your kind words and notes that keep me motivated and feeling loved.  We are will be home about this time next month to spend the holidays with our family and loved ones.  We are looking forward to it, and I am hoping the next four weeks will be a healthy four weeks!  Love to you all!