2:19

I don't have much to talk about today, but I know it's been a couple weeks and I owe you guys an update.  I was trying to think of something clever to call today's post, but didn't come up with much.  I searched Bible verses with chapter 2, verse 19 in them since it is Feb. 19, and what do you know?  He provided inspiration... Ephesians 2:19 says: 19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, and continues with - 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. Pretty cool how this just fits right in with Savannah and me finding our church home recently and not feeling so foreign when we are in His house. <Note - last time I blogged I told you our pastor's name was Eric.  I don't know why I said that.  it's really Shawn. I must think he looks like Eric.  Or I am just as bad with western names as I am with Indian names...)  So we have been to church three times and each visit has been terrific. This past Sunday Savannah brought a friend and asked a lot of questions about the orphanage the church works with and wants to know more about a course they are offering for her age group over the summer.  Good news for Mom... feeling less anxiety about her meltdown.  She's been keeping busy with testing at school (she did really well in some areas, really not so well in others...), and has a dance group, a violin solo, and participating in a group play for her school's Annual day this weekend.  She has gone over to visit our nearby friends, Cherie and Tom, at least one evening a week recently and enjoys the feeling of pseudo-freedom that comes with a mid-week departure from the flat.  We have not had a chance to pick up her fancy dress we picked up while shopping with Maggie and Diana, but hope to do that soon.  Most shops are closed Sunday and our Saturdays have been busy, so it's been tough to plan.  I also need to get my blouse stitched to go with my saree so I can be ready for a wedding at a moment's notice.  

I put some notes together of some recent observations that Savannah and I have had and thought I would share with you.  

• I wonder if Natalie Portman would be annoyed that her very large headshot is posted on a local salon's signage (looking very white and blonde)?  
• Do you think after working out at the gym down on OMR that the local Chennai-ians will really look like John Cena, as the sign portrays?  I told Savannah I would happily go hang out there if there are any John Cena look-alikes. Michael might not appreciate that too much.  LOL
• Why do Indians not cry in public and what in the world must they think of this white girl crying all the time?  It is certainly a very private time if someone is crying.  When I was upset about Savannah and the meltdown time, I was trying to explain to Lakshmi and the driver (separately) that they could go and I was not working that night, both through tears.  Lakshmi had someone text me from her phone later asking if I was OK and telling me to eat well so I stay healthy (??? sweet, but funny) and the driver told me "relax, relax" and I just had some tears, it wasn't like I was sobbing or anything.  Then I got a little choked up telling my co-manager about needing to miss work and he told me I needed to be strong and don't let Savannah see me cry.  Cry during prayer time or while alone, and then be strong the rest of the time.  I have decided that tears are a sign of weakness here.  I suppose, to an extent, they are in the western world as well, but not as much.  I am going to be more observant of that when I get home, that's for sure.
• Our pastor brought up a funny story in his sermon and Savannah and I witnessed it at the mall Saturday: There are some people here who have never been on "moving stairs" (escalators) and are petrified and don't know how to step onto them.  We watched a near pile up at the new mall and were cracking up from the food court.   A little boy REFUSED to step on there, even though his mother was encouraging him.  She finally picked him up and he was crying and carrying on out of fear.  At the top he was fine.  A few minutes later a young girl, maybe in her early 20's, stood there for a minute and then turned around. I guess whatever she thought she wanted to see on the next floor wasn't worth the risk of getting on those crazy moving stairs.   Pretty funny stuff for Savannah and me, but I guess it would be scary for a first time escalator passenger.  I don't think I can remember back that far. But fear is fear, and there's always something to hold us back.  We have to make the decision on whether or not the risk is worth the reward and put the fear behind us and move on.  Pretty good life lesson there.
• The last observation is a big difference we have noticed between Indians and westerners, but more specifically, Americans.  Savannah and I can follow some Tamil conversations pretty well.  And when we do, if we comment on it, or are able to join in later with English, the original parties are always shocked.  Like, "OMG you know Tamil??!!" amazed.  Eyes wide open, jaw dropped, completely unsure of what to make of us, which is pretty amusing for us.  But really what happens is that we use our context clues.  Between their sprinklings of an English word here and there, hand motions, pointing gestures, and even intonation and inflection, we can pick up on quite a bit.  Example - Maggie had a conversation when we were shopping about the type of dress Savannah wanted, which was flowy long skirt and bright colors.  When she was done telling the guy the details, I told her thanks, she communicated exactly what we were looking for.  She was shocked that I knew (basically) what she told him.  But she's very animated in her communication, so it's easy for me to follow.  Savannah said the same thing happens at her school, where she can get the gist of whatever is going on and then all the kids freak out and ask her when she learned Tamil so well.  Taking this little bit of knowledge and applying it to the daily world around us, we have decided that the Indian culture is not a culture to figure things out for itself, rather a culture that will "do the needful" until something is complete.  In the office, in the shops, in the maintenance teams at the apartments.  They follow the SOP until someone changes it or tells them, specifically, what needs (and is authorized by the proper party!) to be done.  It's not wrong.  It's not right.  It's just different than our culture and we are learning to live in it, one day at a time.  It's interesting.

OK it's about time for me to get ready for work.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I did recieve some sad news yesterday that a friend's mother passed away after a very recent diagnosis of a terminal illness.  Would appreciate some prayers for her and the family as they deal with the loss.  Wishing I was home to be there for the services and help with her daughter right about now...  So will send all the prayers and thoughts her way to help since I cannot.  Also appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers for my kiddo and me.  Still prepping for May visitors, which is exciting, but takes time to plan.  I need to get on that.

Happy Tuesday, All!  Love and hugs from Chennai!

 

A meltdown, shopping and church

It's been quite a week for us.  What started out feeling pretty normal quickly turned into crisis.  Anyone who knows or knew a 15-year old can understand how this happens.  I guess between hormones, bottled up emotions and the stress of semester exams all week, she was bound to blow.  I knew since we had gotten back from the US holiday she had been down.  She was quieter than usual, missing her friends and dance team more recently than before the trip, just not herself.  Last Saturday last week she decided to skip an optional school function (a celebration of the Indian Republic Day) and not tell me.  This resulted in some chaos and panic because she missed her ride home and I had to make arrangements for a car to pick her up.  It was a planned day off for our driver, and putting her in an auto was not safe or realistic for the long distance from the campus to our flat and even a service like Fast Track wasn't safe without someone else with her.  So... can you guess what I did? Yep, I called Gideon.  Fortunately, he was able to send a car to get her and put it on my work tab.  Quite an ordeal and she and I had words when she got home and she went to her room for the evening.  We did not talk a lot on Sunday or Monday.  I was pretty angry for her changing plans without telling me, which resulted in a lot of unnecessary stress and coordination from me, Gideon, and her front office staff.  She was pretty fed up with India, come to find out.  Tuesday we talked about the possibility of sending her back to the US.  Were we really to that point?  Was it possible that my daughter was ready to call this adventure off and go back to America?  I couldn't believe it.  I was sad.  Hurt.  Scared.  Still frustrated, but mostly worried.  Tuesday night I went to work in a bit of a fog.  Worked and took care of business, but had a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind.  What would I do?  
Wednesday she came home and I didn't go to the gym because  I needed to talk to her.  We had to figure this out.  She had culture shock from the return trip home.  I knew it, but I also knew she was stronger than the emotions and could tough it out.  Well, after a little bit of talking, it turned into crying.  Sobbing.  Teenage hysteria.  She HAD to move back to the US because school was terrible, she doesn't have friends outside of the four to five people in her class, who she never sees outside of school, we don't go anywhere and she is SO different than everyone here.  People talk about her in the local language, people stare, she will never fit in and she wants to be back where the is the norm.  Of course, I felt like the biggest loser mom on the planet since I prevented none of this.  I saw her being sad and didn't do anything about it.  So, working to fix the situation, and since it was time for me to leave and she was still not OK for me to leave, I told my boss I needed to stay home that night.  I worked from home online after she went to bed. She still wasn't much better when it was time to sleep.  Rough night.  My co-manager suggested that I take off and/or work from home for the rest of the week to spend some quality time with my girl.  At first I thought there was no way, it has been so busy, but the more I thought about it, I had to make sure she knew she was my priority.  So, a little reluctantly, but knowing it was the right decision, I asked for the rest of the week off with the intention of signing on after she went to bed and staying up with e mails and being available on IM.  It worked out well.
Thursday afternoon she came home from school and sat down to do some studying.  I told her I was off and asked if she wanted to go to dinner.  Somewhat begrudgingly, she agreed and we went to a new place that Gideon recommended.  It was amazing.  Pricier than my cheap self would pay normally, but it was nice to go somewhere new and enjoy a terrific meal in a wonderful ambiance.  We talked for a bit and eventually reached an agreement that she would stay here and complete the school year.  It is through April, so that is only three months and she can decide then what she will do.  She wasn't thrilled about the deal - really was ready to hop on a plane this weekend - but I think she would regret it later in life.  I know it's hard now.  But I know the end result of this will be life changing for both of us, and only in good ways.
OK let's fast forward because you know I can't tell a short story.  Thursday night, dinner, talk, bed for her, work for me. Friday night, went to visit our friend Tom's wife, Cherie (the Americans who moved here from Copenhagen in Dec.) and then dinner again, at a place of her choice, bed for her and work for me.
Saturday we had plans with Maggie and Diana from our office to take us around shopping, try to find a new school uniform tailor for Savannah and see some areas we have not visited yet (there's a lot of those to be seen!).  So at noon we were in the car and heading towards Velachery to pick up Diana.  Savannah was excited to see a McDonald's and plans to return soon LOL.  With Diana in the car, we headed toward Egmore to meet Maggie for some shopping of materials to have a selvar made for Savannah.  And, as it turned out, for me, too.  We enjoyed a great fresh juice shop (twice, it was so good) and even tried our first tender coconut juice.  It was pretty tasty and we know it's so good for us, we even ate the inside, which was an interesting texture.  A little slimy, but not much taste to it.  After we had our materials in hand, we went to be measured by the tailor.  We had to select the style and collar shape and length and I don't know what else.  Thank goodness for Maggie and Diana to tell us what is "in fashion" (Savannah was so worried about that!) and what would look nice on us.  After the tailor we went over toward Parrys (pronounced Paris) for some more shopping, but first a stop on the way at Chennai's most famous place for omelet bread.   Mmmm this was some GOOD STUFF.  So we had our snack and were ready for some serious shopping.  While in India, I am bound and determined to go to a wedding.  I would really like to go to A LOT of weddings, but it's been seven months and I haven't made one yet.  Our Kenya expat has been to TWO and she came after me!  I am sad.  And maybe a little jealous.  So I told my comanagers to hook me up, and apparently our issue is that we work overnights when these things are happening...  So I will be scoping out all the upcoming weddings and seriously considering just walking into one if an invite doesn't happen soon...  It's "marriage season" right now and EVERY weekend (Thurs/Fri nights) we see lots and lots of marriages taking place.  On the ECR we travel often, we have seen brides and grooms in a horse drawn carriage two weeks in a row!  We pass the entrance sign and I tell Savannah, "Ohhhh let's go crash it! You know they won't kick the white girls out."  And she rolls her eyes.  But the driver knows I am intrigued and every time he sees one, he says, "Madam, marriage.  Look."  I bet one day he pulls over and tells me, "Come" and we walk in.  LOL  
Anyway, since I want to go to a wedding/marriage ceremony, I figure I need to be ready at a moment's notice and decided to buy a sari and came home with a beautiful blue one, kind of like this. And FINALLY my fair skin worked in my favor.  The shop owner was telling Maggie one price (all in Tamil) and she was holding firm it should be less, quite a bit less.  After him telling her since she is his sister (Indian) why would he give her such a price?  But since it was for me, the American, he is happy to reduce the price.  What???  Yay for this working in my favor for once!!  So then we went across the way and bought fancy jewelry to go with it...  And we bought Savannah an age-appropriate dress that she wanted for when I drag her along to a wedding.  I can't find a proper picture of it since I cannot remember what it's called, but it is a three piece suit with a flowy skirt, kinda looks like this on the left in the blue.  Hers is purple and pink.  She finally decided after hitting about 5 shops and me agreeing to pay more than I set out to pay - but still knowing it was a good price because it was a wholesale area and Maggie said it was worth every rupee.  Plus it was after 9PM and we were starving and tired.  We'll take pics and post them for sure.  Hopefully SOON, just have to invite myself to a wedding.  haha  We are VERY thankful to Maggie and Diana sacrificing their day and sleep to show us around and take us shopping. I should mention that Savannah and I would have NEVER been able to do all these things on our own... We maybe could have handled the material and selvar portion, but no way for the sari and all that other stuff part.  The area we went to is considered "tough" even for locals.  It is SO CROWDED (even more than T. Nagar, I think!) and the streets are tiny, filled with people, cars, bikes, autos, regular rickshaws, cows, and more people.  Amazing.  Savannah mentioned a couple times she felt like she was in a movie.  Quite surreal.  We're very fortunate and thankful for Diana and Maggie!
Holy moly this is long and there's one more story to tell.  If you're bored you can pretend like this is intermission.  Go stretch your legs, get some popcorn and come back in a little while.  I promise the ending will be worth it.  
Gideon knew we were missing our church home and the few churches we had visited here did not feel "right" for us.  They were very formal, although protestant, felt Catholic-like, with mass and all.  Not our scene.  So we haven't gone in a very long time.  But this weekend he suggested a place where is brother goes.  And I took him up on it.  OK, let's do it.  5PM Sunday afternoon service, across town, but I am in.  So we made car arrangements and headed to Nungambakkam (yep, Nungambakkam) and went to meet Soloman for service.  I was a little nervous.  We made it there (after about an hour's drive) and met Soloman out front.  We walked up some stairs, around a corner, through a small area and came to an opening.  As we walked up the stairs I heard one of my favorite worship songs, "I am Free," complete with drums and electric guitar.  Savannah saw my face light up and quietly warned me not to embarrass her.  I was so excited.  Relieved.  Instantly knew we were in the right place.  So we walked in, finished the song and sang to a couple more.  It felt great.  Then the pastor, a Canadian named Eric, gave the sermon based on the theme, "Greater."  God wants us to be greater than we are.  He used the story of Abraham (earlier called Abram) and Genesis 12:1, which says:
The LORD said to Abram, "Leave your land, your relatives, and your father's home. Go to the land that I will show you.
And Pastor Eric explained that Abraham did not want to leave his familiar country, family, and everything, but he had faith in God and knew this is what he must do.  On a much smaller scale, this is what we did.  We followed God's will, which brought us to Chennai.  So, as I always do, I cried. And cried.  And when I thought I was done crying, I just cried more.  Not sobbing crying, but tears running down my face like someone turned on the water faucet and I couldn't shut it off.  Partly because I could relate, partly because I knew this is probably exactly what Savannah needed to hear, but mostly because I am so thankful that He sends His messages just when we need them.  God KNEW we needed affirmation and confirmation that we are in the right place, following His wishes for us.  And he sent us to this church to hear this message at this perfect time.  When we were struggling and questioning our reasons for being here.  The pastor followed up with a few more verses that really resonated with me, but the other one that sticks in my mind is Hebrews 11:8:
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
That is exactly what Savannah and I did... and he even slipped my very favorite verse in there, well, the beginning of it, anyway - Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I know this has been a long post, and if you're still reading, thank you.  I am so thankful for the great friends and family we have around the world cheering us on.  This was a hard week.  Maybe the hardest so far, because I saw my baby girl's heart breaking and saw the suffering and could not do anything about it except pray.  And pray I did.  And ask for prayers, so I did that as well.  God sent us to find a church family, and I think we have.  I see good things coming our way and ask for your continued prayers, good vibes and all around thoughts of positivity and God's favor while we are here. 
Sending you blessings of God's love from Chennai.  And for all those football fans watching the Superbowl in a few hours, 49'ers beat the Ravens!