Reality

As many of you know, I am a big Kenny Chensey fan.  All night I've had the chorus of his song, Reality, in my head: Reality, yeah.  Sometimes life ain't all it's cracked up to be.  So let's take a chance and live this fantasy. 'Cause everybody needs to break free from reality. Lots of examples of REALITY in my life lately - some wonderful, some not. Before I came to Chennai for my week in late February, a girl in another department told me, "I hope you don't think you are going over to Disney's Aladdin over there.  It's not all princesses and magic lamps."  Mind you, I didn't expect Princess Jasmine and her pet tiger, Rajah, to come greet me at the airport, but I suppose I did think I might see a couple monkeys running around the market and some big-eyed kids sweetly asking for some money... She was right.  It's not a Disney movie and the kids aren't sweet; they are distressing and heart-breaking.  And numerous.  Reality.
After I announced that I accepted this position, I lost count of how many times I told people, "It's only for two years.  That time will fly by..." and fill in the end of that sentence with what would NOT happen during the time. Example, "Brett, it's just two years.  Kameryn won't even have started Kindergarten by the time we are back."  It sounded very convincing when I said those things out loud.  To me, anyway.  Last weekend my Kameryn turned four years old.  I missed my niece's fourth birthday party.  And I will miss her fifth as well. Reality.
I read a little bit online about long-distance relationships and talked to a couple people who made them work before I came over to Chennai.  I thought as long as there was frequent and open communication, along with the already established trust and love, it would work. I figure the stress of a new life for me, coupled with the stress of the unknown for him, worked against us.  I still miss him terribly, but have to make the best of my time here on this assignment and adventure.  Reality.
When contemplating this role, I was convinced that India was a predominantly English-speaking country and a possible language-barrier never factored into my decision.  After all, it was ruled by the British for how many years?  And everyone in the office spoke English when I was here.  And the hotel.  And every time I called AT&T or anyone else who has call centers over here.  When Savannah and I arrived in July and made our way out of the hotel for flat-hunting, driver searching and overnight-help hiring, many of the conversations were conducted in Tamil.  When I asked Gideon (you remember Gideon the Saint, right?) if we could be sure to have English-speaking help, his "We'll try," response was less than convincing.  Even more so when Savannah read in our Culturama magazine (a gift from a global adjustment expat relo assistance firm) that it is very common of Indians to agree to things they know are not realistic solely to appease the other party in the conversation.  Our driver does not speak much English.  Neither does the lady who stays with Savannah in the evenings.  I often have to piece together conversations in the office because they are conducted in Tamil.  Reality.
 Savannah has been very strong and easy during this topsy-turvy time in our lives moving across the world from our friends, family and comfort zone.  In the beginning, I fell apart often.  Tears when I thought (sometimes still think...) of my nieces, parents, friends, boyfriend, church and home.  Weekends in bed getting used to the night shift, but probably a touch of depression as well. She made friends easily at school and kept in touch with Spring via Facebook, Twitter and her iPod.  Recently, I've decided she did not adjust as easily as I thought.  We are working on that together now, but I am feeling pretty crummy and realize I depended on her to take on this new world without much support from me.  Hindsight.  Reality.
My parents came in October (yes, I owe a post on their visit, will get to that soon.  Promise.) and were here for a week and a half.  It was the best 11 days I've had since we arrived.  It was wonderful to see them again.  Hug them.  Just be around them.  Catch up with my dad, who I do not regularly talk to.  Mom and I e mail or text often, so I have to make an effort with my electronically-challenged Daddy.  They intended on only staying a week and a day, but Hurricane Sandy had other plans.  I was secretly not so sad about them having to stay a little longer. And then after Sandy left you guys on the east coast of the US, we had Cyclone Neelam here on the southeast Indian coast.  Just some strong winds and rain, but threatening enough to shut the city down for a day or two (but not the office - LOL). Thursday arrived and flights were opening back up.  I knew they were needing to get home to Kameryn's birthday party and another mini-trip they had planned, but I was not ready to accept it.  I told Mom the flights would be too full and they might as well stay through the weekend.  She checked online and decided it was worth a shot.  I was going to be strong and not cry.  I cried like a baby as soon as we hit the ground floor of the elevator.  And I didn't stop for a few hours.  Reality.
The timing of my parents' trip could not have been better.  God knows what and when we need certain things, people, opportunities, etc.  He knew I would need my parents when they came.  Savannah was one big reason.  Another was that I received news that a friend of mine, Jose, the "IT guy" at our office known for his big smile, friendly, helpful demeanor and good-natured personality, passed away the second day they were in town.  I have lots of great things to say about my friend, but I'll sum it up in what happened tonight.  I had nearly five hours of down-time because my laptop's WiFi driver has gone out and has to be replaced.  Well, I am in India, the help-desk capital of the world, so you would think this wouldn't be a huge issue.  Wrong.  Everything is an issue and everything takes longer than it should.  In the past, I would bother Jose on our office IM and he'd fix me up and we'd have a nice chat while he was working on whatever happened to be broken.  He always asked about Savannah and how things were going over here.  I knew I was pretty special when he told me he made an exception for me and started following my blog, because we had talked a few times about Facebook and he told me repeatedly how he would never be on any social-networking sites and that they were all terrible.  Anyway, tonight while I was thinking how much I missed him (not for the IT part, but for the chit chat that came along with the IT part), and I had to call the help desk again, my Outlook Inbox lost all the mails.  All of them.  Talk about freak out mode.  So, the nice little guy from the help desk was trying to get me fixed and, magically, two IM conversations that had never sent from some time back, just popped in my Inbox like they were new mails.  One was with Jose.  And I knew at that moment, he was telling me it's all OK.  Even though he couldn't help me and catch up on life, kids and love, he was OK.   I was sitting at a new desk tonight with new neighbors because we are in the process of shifting our area.  I am pretty sure my "usual" neighbors are used to me getting a little misty-eyed periodically and just chalk it up to me being a crazy American, but I don't think these new guys were ready for it tonight. I read that IM four or five times, jaw on the floor.  All the while, tears falling silently down my cheeks while I thanked him in my head for dropping by.  I've thought how hard it will be walk past his desk in December when I go back into the office many times.  Losing a friend sucks.  Big time.  And losing a friend when you're too far away to pay your respects to his family and let them know what a positive impact he made on your life sucks pretty bad, too. Reality.
I absolutely LOVE my job here.  I LOVE working with these guys.  I LOVE the eagerness and motivation they have to do a job well.  I LOVE the team work and sense of camaraderie within each of the groups.  I LOVE the feedback from my colleagues in NAM when they are appreciating the team for their help.  We step in often for last-minute fixes, such as with Hurricane Sandy recently.  It's been great to read IM's and e mails and hear on the phone calls how much our team has helped relieve some stress from our front office colleagues.  I accepted this role into the unknown and it's been terrific.  I know great things are yet to come. Reality.   
So I guess this was a little bit of a sad post, but I am OK, really.  Just had some stuff on my mind and hadn't written in a while.  It was time.  Your continued prayers for Savannah and me are appreciated.  Your notes and thoughts of encouragement are treasured and called upon often when I am having a rough day.  It's good to know we have a great cheering section.  Reality.