Philosophical Nikki

To whine or not to whine?  That is the question.  I could very easily whine about what a crappy week this has been. Obviously, I feel like it’s whine-worthy. But then I ask myself what benefit will this bring?  I can whine about a few different things… India.  Work.  My poor kiddo.  Her school.  Her principal.  Our hot water heater.  Family back in the US. But will whining actually do anything? Will it even make me feel better or will I just have verbalized (or written) some negativity and put it out there to the world?  I am reluctant to say I will not whine.  Because, by nature, I am a whiner.  Most of my closest friends and even some of my not-so-closest friends know this about me.  If I am too cold, too hot, too tired, too hungry, too full, too caffeinated, under caffeinated, too broke, too alone, too crowded, too ANYTHING, and you are around, you will probably hear about it.  Since my time in India, I have worked hard at reigning in my whininess.  It’s hard to understand until you put it into practice, but using the gratitude method (being very thankful for everything you DO have or CAN have instead of what you do not or cannot) makes a HUGE difference in your mindset and those people who are lucky enough to come into contact with you.  I wonder if my friends from Word of Life realize how whiney I am?  Or have I done  a good job on this mission while living here and kept it “under wraps?” And that doesn’t mean I don’t feel too this or too that.  It doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated and just fake the emotion of NOT feeling whatever whiney way it is at that moment.  It simply means I choose to think about it from a different perspective.  Example – It’s hot here this week.  Like high 80’s and humid-sun-blaring-sweating-while-walking-the dog hot.   But it’s terrific in the early morning when I get home from work and we walk a few loops around the building.  And I know that while we are out sweating at 3 PM.  And I also know my friends in the US are under crazy amounts of snow or ice and freezing their booties off, so I won’t complain about a little heat.  I guess the easy way to think about it is to consciously shift the perspective.  I am working on it.  But, MAN!  Some weeks are harder than others.  Some principals make it really difficult to try and show the Christian love I know I need to. Some days waking up early to run around the hot, loud city to complete ridiculous errands that should not be required make me really want to whine. Sometimes knowing my girl’s heart is still hurting so much from missing her little Princess Prasansha now that we are back in Chennai makes me want to whine.  In times like these, I am working hard to turn to scriptures and remind myself that God is there for us.  When we are angry, sad, frustrated, furious, broken, our loving Savior is there extending his Holy arms and providing supernatural comfort.  The kind of comfort we can’t get from anywhere or anyone else, no matter how hard we try. It’s taken me a few years (about 37) but I am finally getting it.  Not only can I find comfort in His Word, but listening to praise and worship music and letting that goodness fill up my ears, I find that it spills over to my heart and I feel better.  I went home from work yesterday in a much better mood than when I arrived. Dynamo and I did about 4 loops around the building together in the crisp, cool air in the early morning quiet of Padur.  I enjoyed an episode of the Ellen show, ate a bite, and slept much better and more peacefully than the day prior.

We got some great news this week – Savannah CAN graduate this year.  She will need to meet the credit requirements and pass a 12^th grade standard achievement test with at least a 50% score.  No problems there.  There was a problem of having that test administered.  I was able to contact a company who provides these tests in the US and found out I can actually administer it to her myself!  Praise God! Tick that off the list – now to prep her for the test and keep her focus on completing her studies.  Light at the end of a multiple-month battle tunnel!

Hmm what else?  I posted all of ourLondon and trip home pics on Picasa. There are entirely too many and I am sure they will bore you to tears, but if you haven’t seen London, at least flip through and see what you are missing out on.  Then plan a trip.  It’s amazing.  And, of course, our family time at home was fun so there is some good stuff in that album.  It took a while, because, HEY, I live in India and the internet is a heck of a lot slower than that in the US.  Why didn’t I post them there?  Good question. I guess because I am a ding a ling.  Oh, well.

We did plan our trip to Thailand – looking forward to the first week of April when Savannah and I will meet Mom, Dad and Michael in Bangkok.  Airfare bought and tour/hotel plans in the works. I am really excited and looking forward to it!  We are still hoping to squeeze in a trip to Kerala, “God’s own country,” but that’s gonna be a big dent in the wallet and fitting it in before their rainy season is looking doubtful.  But I am trying!! We would love a weekend in Mumbai, too, but (again) that costs rupees that just aren’t there.  If anyone wants to pay off my student loans for me I can do all this travelin’ fun.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Yeah, darn it, that’s what I thought.  Haha

So… yeah, I guess that’s about it for us. Of course I will ask for you to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, especially for comfort and peace for Savannah’s heart. In the meantime, we send our love and hugs across the ocean and around the world to you, our wonderful friends and family.  Happy wishes for a great weekend and try to remember how blessed you are, instead of how much you lack if that happens to pop into your head.  It works!!

Welcome, 2014!

Happy New Year!

Savannah and I are back in Chennai and doing well, other than her jetlag and cranky attitude for the past couple days.  Health wise she has been great and our visit to Houston only resulted in the one scheduled appointment and one follow up for some blood work.  Which is her least favorite thing, but she dealt with it and now the US CDC is checking to see if she had a small case of scrub typhus, a mite-borne illness, along with her Typhoid and another virus that started with an A.  So very thankful to have that behind us and have my girl back in school catching up on her makeup work and looking forward to graduation in June. We have confirmation from the umbrella school in Florida that she can complete her studies based on the same requirements we understood, but still working on the school here in India to confirm this in writing and also to confirm they will administer or coordinate the required standardized test. It seems to be never ending, but I am confident she will be a high school graduate six months from now.  Which is just nuts to me.  How can my baby girl be graduating?  I am too young for all that. Aren’t I? 

This question takes me to our visit home.  I turned 37.  I had a hard time with that number.  I also had a hard time with 27... Something about those numbers being closer to the next decade than the middle of the decade and being closer to older than younger, I guess.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was pretty quiet and some might say cranky (or pissy, thanks, Mom!) for a day or two and I guess this was why. I had to sit down and reflect on the emotions, have a reality check, and realign my gratitude-meter and remind myself of all I am blessed with.  This year brought more reminders that time doesn’t stop for anyone and nobody is guaranteed a certain amount of time on earth.  A few years back, many of you remember a very close friend of mine lost her younger sister to cancer at only 22.  This year we lost a very close friend to cancer at only 4.  I was heavily intertwined with both families during the hospital stays and the last few weeks for each of these very special girls. It was awful as an outsider, and I can only pray for God’s great comfort for these families, even today for the first and continue prayers for the second. 

The past year and a half in India feels like the blink of an eye, which makes turning another year older even scarier.  I know the next birthday will come just as fast as this one did, and the next and the next, God willing.  That means I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to get it done!  I am still unclear as to what God’s will is and why he sent us to India.  I have a couple ideas, but either I am not looking hard enough, or maybe looking too hard, to find that big answer.  But then I wonder… maybe it’s not a big answer or reason at all.  Maybe it’s a whisper of something that happened here, or is yet to happen here, or even back in the US as a result of our time here. Maybe it is simply His will to blueprint Savannah’s life with a great cultural experience that will serve His Kingdom someday far away.  I can’t help but hope and pray that we do know before we go, but I guess that’s the human nature in me. Whatever He has in store for us, we have had our good days and bad days here, our stressful and our not-so-stressful days here, just as we would have had in Texas.  These days, though, were sprinkled with a crazy adventure that included lots of laughs as we learned to acclimate to an entirely new culture, a change in mindset that allows us to share the road with cows and goats on a regular basis, an understanding beyond our American world of convenience and instant gratification and an immeasurable appreciation for the family, friends and loved ones we moved so far away from. Yes, my birthday was a time for reflection and I am so thankful for all the opportunities and blessings we have been afforded as a result of our big move. Whether we know His reason yet or not…

Our trip home was terrific.  I surprised Savannah with a three day trip in London, which was amazing.  She loved it so much she said she’s moving back.  We enjoyed typical London weather – overcast, drizzly and cold – on day one, but days two and three were SO gorgeous with blue skies along with the crisp winds and cold weather.  We layered with thermals, jeans, jackets, scarves and gloves and braved the tube (subway) and streets to see as much as we could in our short time there.  Some of our stops included: The London Eye at night, a walking tour that helped us cross paths with His Royal Highness Prince Harry pulling into the residence of Prince Charles and Camilla (exciting!), a ceremonial changing of the royal horse guards, another ceremonial changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey (which was more amazing than I ever thought possible), Hyde Park, the Parliament buildings, the Thames river, the Tower of London (with all the crown jewels!), the London Tower bridge, Big Ben, 10 Downing Street, the Chelsea area, and so much more I can’t remember.  We even met up with the friend of a friend and enjoyed a Christmas Carols show performed by Hillsong, which was a terrific jolt to get us in the holiday spirit.  It started out a big surreal for me, sipping Starbucks (right next to our hotel!) in the cold, in London, and Harry Connick, Jr. came on the radio.  So what happened?  I started crying.  Hahahaha Savannah was mortified.  I pulled it together quickly, but just was so overwhelmingly thankful, blessed and humbled by the entire scenario.  It was a wonderful trip with memories I know Savannah and I will both look back on with love, laughs and fondness.

Saturday morning we packed up and headed for Houston.  After a couple hour delayed flight, we were eventually airborne and ready to see the family, friends and Michael.  We had a great trip home, enjoyed more cold weather (well, I complained and wasn’t sad to be heading back to warm India, really) and our terrific family and friends.  We didn’t make any huge plans or schedule any big dinners this year, but time sure passed quickly and soon it was time to head back.  This time our goodbyes were different and more dry-eyed, which I imagine is because we see an end to our Indian adventure and a new beginning back in Texas in the very near future.  In a short six months we will be heading back over to re-acclimate to being a couple American girls. We will be crying over here on this side as we say goodbye to some really terrific people from work and church that have such a special place in our hearts… but so much to do in the meantime!  Mom and Dad (and hoping we can get Michael along!) will meet us in Thailand in a couple months for one last international trip.  Savannah and I will make a trip to Kerala to see the natural beauty that India has to offer.  Some friends from the office are coordinating a weekend getaway for our group to Bangalore.  So much to do and see, so little time!

Here are a few pics from our holidays.  We hope yours were blessed, full of laughs, love, friends and family.  We send our appreciation for your thoughts and prayers for us as we head into the last quarter of our stay here in India.  And we send our love.

Cheers to a prosperous, successful and LOVING 2014!