2:19

I don't have much to talk about today, but I know it's been a couple weeks and I owe you guys an update.  I was trying to think of something clever to call today's post, but didn't come up with much.  I searched Bible verses with chapter 2, verse 19 in them since it is Feb. 19, and what do you know?  He provided inspiration... Ephesians 2:19 says: 19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, and continues with - 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. Pretty cool how this just fits right in with Savannah and me finding our church home recently and not feeling so foreign when we are in His house. <Note - last time I blogged I told you our pastor's name was Eric.  I don't know why I said that.  it's really Shawn. I must think he looks like Eric.  Or I am just as bad with western names as I am with Indian names...)  So we have been to church three times and each visit has been terrific. This past Sunday Savannah brought a friend and asked a lot of questions about the orphanage the church works with and wants to know more about a course they are offering for her age group over the summer.  Good news for Mom... feeling less anxiety about her meltdown.  She's been keeping busy with testing at school (she did really well in some areas, really not so well in others...), and has a dance group, a violin solo, and participating in a group play for her school's Annual day this weekend.  She has gone over to visit our nearby friends, Cherie and Tom, at least one evening a week recently and enjoys the feeling of pseudo-freedom that comes with a mid-week departure from the flat.  We have not had a chance to pick up her fancy dress we picked up while shopping with Maggie and Diana, but hope to do that soon.  Most shops are closed Sunday and our Saturdays have been busy, so it's been tough to plan.  I also need to get my blouse stitched to go with my saree so I can be ready for a wedding at a moment's notice.  

I put some notes together of some recent observations that Savannah and I have had and thought I would share with you.  

• I wonder if Natalie Portman would be annoyed that her very large headshot is posted on a local salon's signage (looking very white and blonde)?  
• Do you think after working out at the gym down on OMR that the local Chennai-ians will really look like John Cena, as the sign portrays?  I told Savannah I would happily go hang out there if there are any John Cena look-alikes. Michael might not appreciate that too much.  LOL
• Why do Indians not cry in public and what in the world must they think of this white girl crying all the time?  It is certainly a very private time if someone is crying.  When I was upset about Savannah and the meltdown time, I was trying to explain to Lakshmi and the driver (separately) that they could go and I was not working that night, both through tears.  Lakshmi had someone text me from her phone later asking if I was OK and telling me to eat well so I stay healthy (??? sweet, but funny) and the driver told me "relax, relax" and I just had some tears, it wasn't like I was sobbing or anything.  Then I got a little choked up telling my co-manager about needing to miss work and he told me I needed to be strong and don't let Savannah see me cry.  Cry during prayer time or while alone, and then be strong the rest of the time.  I have decided that tears are a sign of weakness here.  I suppose, to an extent, they are in the western world as well, but not as much.  I am going to be more observant of that when I get home, that's for sure.
• Our pastor brought up a funny story in his sermon and Savannah and I witnessed it at the mall Saturday: There are some people here who have never been on "moving stairs" (escalators) and are petrified and don't know how to step onto them.  We watched a near pile up at the new mall and were cracking up from the food court.   A little boy REFUSED to step on there, even though his mother was encouraging him.  She finally picked him up and he was crying and carrying on out of fear.  At the top he was fine.  A few minutes later a young girl, maybe in her early 20's, stood there for a minute and then turned around. I guess whatever she thought she wanted to see on the next floor wasn't worth the risk of getting on those crazy moving stairs.   Pretty funny stuff for Savannah and me, but I guess it would be scary for a first time escalator passenger.  I don't think I can remember back that far. But fear is fear, and there's always something to hold us back.  We have to make the decision on whether or not the risk is worth the reward and put the fear behind us and move on.  Pretty good life lesson there.
• The last observation is a big difference we have noticed between Indians and westerners, but more specifically, Americans.  Savannah and I can follow some Tamil conversations pretty well.  And when we do, if we comment on it, or are able to join in later with English, the original parties are always shocked.  Like, "OMG you know Tamil??!!" amazed.  Eyes wide open, jaw dropped, completely unsure of what to make of us, which is pretty amusing for us.  But really what happens is that we use our context clues.  Between their sprinklings of an English word here and there, hand motions, pointing gestures, and even intonation and inflection, we can pick up on quite a bit.  Example - Maggie had a conversation when we were shopping about the type of dress Savannah wanted, which was flowy long skirt and bright colors.  When she was done telling the guy the details, I told her thanks, she communicated exactly what we were looking for.  She was shocked that I knew (basically) what she told him.  But she's very animated in her communication, so it's easy for me to follow.  Savannah said the same thing happens at her school, where she can get the gist of whatever is going on and then all the kids freak out and ask her when she learned Tamil so well.  Taking this little bit of knowledge and applying it to the daily world around us, we have decided that the Indian culture is not a culture to figure things out for itself, rather a culture that will "do the needful" until something is complete.  In the office, in the shops, in the maintenance teams at the apartments.  They follow the SOP until someone changes it or tells them, specifically, what needs (and is authorized by the proper party!) to be done.  It's not wrong.  It's not right.  It's just different than our culture and we are learning to live in it, one day at a time.  It's interesting.

OK it's about time for me to get ready for work.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I did recieve some sad news yesterday that a friend's mother passed away after a very recent diagnosis of a terminal illness.  Would appreciate some prayers for her and the family as they deal with the loss.  Wishing I was home to be there for the services and help with her daughter right about now...  So will send all the prayers and thoughts her way to help since I cannot.  Also appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers for my kiddo and me.  Still prepping for May visitors, which is exciting, but takes time to plan.  I need to get on that.

Happy Tuesday, All!  Love and hugs from Chennai!

 

A meltdown, shopping and church

It's been quite a week for us.  What started out feeling pretty normal quickly turned into crisis.  Anyone who knows or knew a 15-year old can understand how this happens.  I guess between hormones, bottled up emotions and the stress of semester exams all week, she was bound to blow.  I knew since we had gotten back from the US holiday she had been down.  She was quieter than usual, missing her friends and dance team more recently than before the trip, just not herself.  Last Saturday last week she decided to skip an optional school function (a celebration of the Indian Republic Day) and not tell me.  This resulted in some chaos and panic because she missed her ride home and I had to make arrangements for a car to pick her up.  It was a planned day off for our driver, and putting her in an auto was not safe or realistic for the long distance from the campus to our flat and even a service like Fast Track wasn't safe without someone else with her.  So... can you guess what I did? Yep, I called Gideon.  Fortunately, he was able to send a car to get her and put it on my work tab.  Quite an ordeal and she and I had words when she got home and she went to her room for the evening.  We did not talk a lot on Sunday or Monday.  I was pretty angry for her changing plans without telling me, which resulted in a lot of unnecessary stress and coordination from me, Gideon, and her front office staff.  She was pretty fed up with India, come to find out.  Tuesday we talked about the possibility of sending her back to the US.  Were we really to that point?  Was it possible that my daughter was ready to call this adventure off and go back to America?  I couldn't believe it.  I was sad.  Hurt.  Scared.  Still frustrated, but mostly worried.  Tuesday night I went to work in a bit of a fog.  Worked and took care of business, but had a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind.  What would I do?  
Wednesday she came home and I didn't go to the gym because  I needed to talk to her.  We had to figure this out.  She had culture shock from the return trip home.  I knew it, but I also knew she was stronger than the emotions and could tough it out.  Well, after a little bit of talking, it turned into crying.  Sobbing.  Teenage hysteria.  She HAD to move back to the US because school was terrible, she doesn't have friends outside of the four to five people in her class, who she never sees outside of school, we don't go anywhere and she is SO different than everyone here.  People talk about her in the local language, people stare, she will never fit in and she wants to be back where the is the norm.  Of course, I felt like the biggest loser mom on the planet since I prevented none of this.  I saw her being sad and didn't do anything about it.  So, working to fix the situation, and since it was time for me to leave and she was still not OK for me to leave, I told my boss I needed to stay home that night.  I worked from home online after she went to bed. She still wasn't much better when it was time to sleep.  Rough night.  My co-manager suggested that I take off and/or work from home for the rest of the week to spend some quality time with my girl.  At first I thought there was no way, it has been so busy, but the more I thought about it, I had to make sure she knew she was my priority.  So, a little reluctantly, but knowing it was the right decision, I asked for the rest of the week off with the intention of signing on after she went to bed and staying up with e mails and being available on IM.  It worked out well.
Thursday afternoon she came home from school and sat down to do some studying.  I told her I was off and asked if she wanted to go to dinner.  Somewhat begrudgingly, she agreed and we went to a new place that Gideon recommended.  It was amazing.  Pricier than my cheap self would pay normally, but it was nice to go somewhere new and enjoy a terrific meal in a wonderful ambiance.  We talked for a bit and eventually reached an agreement that she would stay here and complete the school year.  It is through April, so that is only three months and she can decide then what she will do.  She wasn't thrilled about the deal - really was ready to hop on a plane this weekend - but I think she would regret it later in life.  I know it's hard now.  But I know the end result of this will be life changing for both of us, and only in good ways.
OK let's fast forward because you know I can't tell a short story.  Thursday night, dinner, talk, bed for her, work for me. Friday night, went to visit our friend Tom's wife, Cherie (the Americans who moved here from Copenhagen in Dec.) and then dinner again, at a place of her choice, bed for her and work for me.
Saturday we had plans with Maggie and Diana from our office to take us around shopping, try to find a new school uniform tailor for Savannah and see some areas we have not visited yet (there's a lot of those to be seen!).  So at noon we were in the car and heading towards Velachery to pick up Diana.  Savannah was excited to see a McDonald's and plans to return soon LOL.  With Diana in the car, we headed toward Egmore to meet Maggie for some shopping of materials to have a selvar made for Savannah.  And, as it turned out, for me, too.  We enjoyed a great fresh juice shop (twice, it was so good) and even tried our first tender coconut juice.  It was pretty tasty and we know it's so good for us, we even ate the inside, which was an interesting texture.  A little slimy, but not much taste to it.  After we had our materials in hand, we went to be measured by the tailor.  We had to select the style and collar shape and length and I don't know what else.  Thank goodness for Maggie and Diana to tell us what is "in fashion" (Savannah was so worried about that!) and what would look nice on us.  After the tailor we went over toward Parrys (pronounced Paris) for some more shopping, but first a stop on the way at Chennai's most famous place for omelet bread.   Mmmm this was some GOOD STUFF.  So we had our snack and were ready for some serious shopping.  While in India, I am bound and determined to go to a wedding.  I would really like to go to A LOT of weddings, but it's been seven months and I haven't made one yet.  Our Kenya expat has been to TWO and she came after me!  I am sad.  And maybe a little jealous.  So I told my comanagers to hook me up, and apparently our issue is that we work overnights when these things are happening...  So I will be scoping out all the upcoming weddings and seriously considering just walking into one if an invite doesn't happen soon...  It's "marriage season" right now and EVERY weekend (Thurs/Fri nights) we see lots and lots of marriages taking place.  On the ECR we travel often, we have seen brides and grooms in a horse drawn carriage two weeks in a row!  We pass the entrance sign and I tell Savannah, "Ohhhh let's go crash it! You know they won't kick the white girls out."  And she rolls her eyes.  But the driver knows I am intrigued and every time he sees one, he says, "Madam, marriage.  Look."  I bet one day he pulls over and tells me, "Come" and we walk in.  LOL  
Anyway, since I want to go to a wedding/marriage ceremony, I figure I need to be ready at a moment's notice and decided to buy a sari and came home with a beautiful blue one, kind of like this. And FINALLY my fair skin worked in my favor.  The shop owner was telling Maggie one price (all in Tamil) and she was holding firm it should be less, quite a bit less.  After him telling her since she is his sister (Indian) why would he give her such a price?  But since it was for me, the American, he is happy to reduce the price.  What???  Yay for this working in my favor for once!!  So then we went across the way and bought fancy jewelry to go with it...  And we bought Savannah an age-appropriate dress that she wanted for when I drag her along to a wedding.  I can't find a proper picture of it since I cannot remember what it's called, but it is a three piece suit with a flowy skirt, kinda looks like this on the left in the blue.  Hers is purple and pink.  She finally decided after hitting about 5 shops and me agreeing to pay more than I set out to pay - but still knowing it was a good price because it was a wholesale area and Maggie said it was worth every rupee.  Plus it was after 9PM and we were starving and tired.  We'll take pics and post them for sure.  Hopefully SOON, just have to invite myself to a wedding.  haha  We are VERY thankful to Maggie and Diana sacrificing their day and sleep to show us around and take us shopping. I should mention that Savannah and I would have NEVER been able to do all these things on our own... We maybe could have handled the material and selvar portion, but no way for the sari and all that other stuff part.  The area we went to is considered "tough" even for locals.  It is SO CROWDED (even more than T. Nagar, I think!) and the streets are tiny, filled with people, cars, bikes, autos, regular rickshaws, cows, and more people.  Amazing.  Savannah mentioned a couple times she felt like she was in a movie.  Quite surreal.  We're very fortunate and thankful for Diana and Maggie!
Holy moly this is long and there's one more story to tell.  If you're bored you can pretend like this is intermission.  Go stretch your legs, get some popcorn and come back in a little while.  I promise the ending will be worth it.  
Gideon knew we were missing our church home and the few churches we had visited here did not feel "right" for us.  They were very formal, although protestant, felt Catholic-like, with mass and all.  Not our scene.  So we haven't gone in a very long time.  But this weekend he suggested a place where is brother goes.  And I took him up on it.  OK, let's do it.  5PM Sunday afternoon service, across town, but I am in.  So we made car arrangements and headed to Nungambakkam (yep, Nungambakkam) and went to meet Soloman for service.  I was a little nervous.  We made it there (after about an hour's drive) and met Soloman out front.  We walked up some stairs, around a corner, through a small area and came to an opening.  As we walked up the stairs I heard one of my favorite worship songs, "I am Free," complete with drums and electric guitar.  Savannah saw my face light up and quietly warned me not to embarrass her.  I was so excited.  Relieved.  Instantly knew we were in the right place.  So we walked in, finished the song and sang to a couple more.  It felt great.  Then the pastor, a Canadian named Eric, gave the sermon based on the theme, "Greater."  God wants us to be greater than we are.  He used the story of Abraham (earlier called Abram) and Genesis 12:1, which says:
The LORD said to Abram, "Leave your land, your relatives, and your father's home. Go to the land that I will show you.
And Pastor Eric explained that Abraham did not want to leave his familiar country, family, and everything, but he had faith in God and knew this is what he must do.  On a much smaller scale, this is what we did.  We followed God's will, which brought us to Chennai.  So, as I always do, I cried. And cried.  And when I thought I was done crying, I just cried more.  Not sobbing crying, but tears running down my face like someone turned on the water faucet and I couldn't shut it off.  Partly because I could relate, partly because I knew this is probably exactly what Savannah needed to hear, but mostly because I am so thankful that He sends His messages just when we need them.  God KNEW we needed affirmation and confirmation that we are in the right place, following His wishes for us.  And he sent us to this church to hear this message at this perfect time.  When we were struggling and questioning our reasons for being here.  The pastor followed up with a few more verses that really resonated with me, but the other one that sticks in my mind is Hebrews 11:8:
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
That is exactly what Savannah and I did... and he even slipped my very favorite verse in there, well, the beginning of it, anyway - Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I know this has been a long post, and if you're still reading, thank you.  I am so thankful for the great friends and family we have around the world cheering us on.  This was a hard week.  Maybe the hardest so far, because I saw my baby girl's heart breaking and saw the suffering and could not do anything about it except pray.  And pray I did.  And ask for prayers, so I did that as well.  God sent us to find a church family, and I think we have.  I see good things coming our way and ask for your continued prayers, good vibes and all around thoughts of positivity and God's favor while we are here. 
Sending you blessings of God's love from Chennai.  And for all those football fans watching the Superbowl in a few hours, 49'ers beat the Ravens!

One Day Maybe I'll learn some Tamil

When Savannah and I first arrived in Chennai, I said I was going to learn a new word or phrase in Tamil every day... then it changed to one a week.  We've been here a little over six months and I probably know six.  Guess that brings my average down to one a month.  Not very good.  I should get on that.  Here's what I know off the top of my head, without cheating:

Venakkam - Hello
Nandri - Thank you 

Inga va - Come here
Po - Go
Mean - fish 
Amma - Mom
Ama - slang for OK – does slang count?  I think so.
Da - slang for dude/guy

And Here are the ones I know if I hear them but had to look them up to confirm: 
Nalvaravu - Welcome
Naḷai - Tomorrow
Valttukkaḷ - Wishes (birthday, etc)

Just for fun, here are some of the areas in Chennai:  Our office is in Kottivakkam near Kandanchavadi.  Between Padur, where we live, and the office a couple of the areas I know are Navalur and Sholinganallur.  We looked for an apartment and live very near a complex called Hiranandani.  We have a couple friends who live in Thiruvanmiyur.  Savannah's friend lives in Palavakkam.  We had to go to Kanchepuram to get registered with the foreign resident's office. These names are all awesome for a couple reasons.  One being that I am super proud when I can actually pronounce something.  I enunciate every letter.  Nobody can understand me.  I still have my southern drawl.  People can't even understand when I say i live in Padur.  Puh-derr.  Not that hard, right?  Well, they say something like Puh-do.  And when I try to sound like that, they still give me the blank stare.   
Last weekend we went shopping in Kottivakkam and got Savannah's first full Indian outfit. She got a bright pink kurta (long shirt, similar to this) and some patiala pants (baggy- here, and remind me MC Hammer pants) and I got a pretty orange-ish kurta to wear with brown leggings.  Next weekend we are going shopping with a couple girls from the office and I am thinking it's time for me to pick up a sari (like this).  And Savannah wants a full salwar (see this).  We are finally getting her shirt stitched for the sari I got her when I came to work here in the spring.  Now we just need to invite ourselves to a wedding (don't think I haven't been trying!) so we can get dressed up and wear them...
What else?  Names.  Our driver, who's name I can still not pronounce, is Murugesan.  (He still asks Savannah what I say when I tell him where we are going - unless it's Nilgri's, which is our staple weekend spot.)  My co-manager is Mohamed Asif.  But he goes by Asif, his last name.  Most of the time.   The NAM peeps call him Mohamed.  I call him Asif unless we are on a call with the front office, and then I have to make a conscious effort to refer to him as Mohamed.  We have a team of almost 20 handling Imports for the US and Canada.  I still can't pronounce some of these guys' names.  I try.  Asif laughs a lot.  I am sure eventually he will get tired of me and not finish the names when I start and stare blankly at him.  But for now, we've got an understanding and it works out well for me.  I tried to find some rhyme or reason on how to tell if a name is for a guy or a girl, since much of my communication is via e mail or instant messages.  I often have no idea if I am communicating with a man or woman, so I think from now on I will use the trusty Google search and see if I can figure it out from there.  If you don't have anything better to do, spend a few minutes and click here to look up some Indian (Hindu) names.  And then try to pronounce them.  But say it quickly.  Because that's how the locals do it.
We're still planning on our May trip, but not sure if Robert will be able to make it or not, due to his schedule at work.  We are sure hoping he can, but need to be firming up airline tickets and stuff soon.  Michael will come for sure and my parents will meet us.  I think we will wind up on a Malaysia and Singapore trip, and then Michael (and Robert, if he gets to come) will spend a little bit of time here in Chennai as well.  Everyone tells me May is hot, hot, hot here.  I am thinking it must be similar to August/September in Houston.  Hot and humid.  Doesn't sound like much fun for outside, and add in the two hours a day power outage when we only have fans and no AC, I might get back into grumpy American mode.  I am hoping it's not thattttttttt bad.  Guess we'll wait and see.
As you can probably tell, not a lot going on here, so writing about much of nothing.  Just figured I would check in.  Hope everyone is doing well and please keep us in your prayers.  Savannah's still adjusting back, missing home, etc and being an all-around teenager (hence the need for prayers for Mom).  Sending love and hugs from Chennai. 

Happy Pongal!

Hey, check it out... two posts in a week!  Well, I had a couple funny conversations lately and thought I would share with the world.  I figure you guys could use a laugh, too.  I'll start with this week's celebration: Pongal.  This is a Hindu festival observed in South India (where we are!) and marks the end of the harvest season and this link explains: The festival is celebrated for four days. On, the first day, Bhogi, the old clothes and materials are thrown away and fired, marking the beginning of a new life. The second day, the Pongal day, is celebrated by boiling fresh milk early in the morning and allowing it to boil over the vessel - a tradition that is the literal translation for Pongal. People also prepare savories and sweets, visit each other's homes, and exchange greetings. The third day, Mattu Pongal, is meant to offer thanks to the cows and buffaloes, as they are used to plough the lands. On the last day, Kanum Pongal, people go out to picnic. I am a bit behind in my Pongal celebration, and did not do any of these things.  Next year I'll get it right! I am most intrigued by the third day, where the Hindu folks offer thanks to cows and buffaloes.  One of my friends at the office told me that these animals will be painted and hung with flowers in the villages.  I was anxiously watching my street today (keep in mind we live in cow-central) to see if any cows were decorated for the festival.  Much to my dismay, I saw no costumed cows.  So I had to Google this and see how they looked... 

Pongal Festivities Moooooooooooo!

Tonight in the office I told my friend I was sad I didn't see any Pongal'd up cows in person and she laughed and said she told me they would only be in the villages.  Then my co-manager joined in and said that the economy has severely impacted this festival, as the cost of buying a cow is about 13,000 Rupees (appx $250) and who has that just laying around to paint for a day?  I think that's a grand idea and maybe I'll take a collection for next year.  I want to see a decorated cow, dang it!
More funny conversations:
- Same friend and me talking about her sister (lives in Colorado) coming next month and she kindly offered to bring any provisions Savannah or I might need.  One thing I forgot in the US when I was home are the replacement heads for our electric toothbrush.  So the American is now trying to explain why we need an electric toothbrush.  We laughed and laughed, but at the the of our conversation, she was convinced it was the best invention ever and was e mailing her sister to pick one up!  (Should I be in sales? You're welcome, Oral-B!)  So she asks, "How do you use it?" And I am doing brushing motions with my hand and laughing and explaining it's the same as a regular, but does a better job and my teeth are whiter, etc etc.  Then she comes back the next day and tells me her sister asked her if she was really so lazy that she needed and electric toothbrush!  haha!  So then SHE had to explain all the great benefits I had previously explained.  Oh, so funny.
- The drivers and me have some terrific conversations.  They generally don't include more than about 3-4 words, because less is more when you have a Texas twang and don't speak Tamil.  So in the evenings on my way to the office, the driver calls to say he is here, "Hello, madam.  Car park waiting."  I reply, "OK, thank you.  Five minutes."  "OK thank you."  Then, I walk to the car and he opens the door for me and I say, "Thank you.  How are you?"  He replies, "Fine, madam.  Thank you."  Every night.  I could record it and play it five days a week. Then the morning driver that takes me home from work tells me, "Good morning, madam."  "Good morning, how are you?"  "Fine, madam.  Straight to house?"  "Yes, straight to house, thank you."  Sometimes this little guy tries to have a conversation.  Poor thing, I imagine one day he thinks we can really communicate.  The first morning I was back in the office after our holiday, he asked, "One month leave?"  I told him, "Almost!  Three week holiday in US." (This is the same driver that picked up Mom & Dad from the airport when they came in October.)  He said, "Oh, America?"  I told him, "Yes, America.  Family.  Christmas. New year."  He asked, "Mother?"  "Yes."  "Father?" "Yes." "Sister?" (umm easier to say yes, for sister in law) "Yes, and brother and babies."  He was on a roll.  "Oh, husband?"  "No, no husband."  "Ohhhhhhh, no husband?"  Me, "No, (I chuckle a little), no husband."  Driver - "Oh, sorry, sorry."  Um, it's ok, buddy.  I am happier, now, thanks.  LOL  
So I thought that was pretty funny and then over the weekend I was walking Dynamo and a young man in his early 20s or so was asking about him - breed, where he came from, how much did he cost, what does he eat, and then, "Are you here studying?"  Me, "No, I am working."  Him, "Oh, what company?  For how long?  What do you do?"  Me, "Maersk Line.  Ocean freight customer service manager.  For 2 years and we came in July."  Him, "Oh, your husband is working, too?"  Me, "No, no husband.  My daughter and me.  And Dynamo."  His eyes almost popped out of his head in shock.  "Your husband is back in the US?"  Ummm let's make this easy. "Yes, he's working there."  So what I have learned already is that women here don't live alone.  They live in ladies' hostels or with their parents or with their husband.  But Savannah and me living by ourselves is just unheard of.  We are quite the rebels, apparently!  As time goes on, I learn more... that even though I am a strong, independent western woman, I still need a husband in the eyes of this culture. Savannah has said it's easier at school to tell people her dad is in the US working, too, and not even mention divorce or anything else.  
The pressures of society to conform to marriage is amazing to me.  Most girls are married by 25, and majority of those marriages are arranged.  One of the young girls in the office had her birthday a couple months back and she was passing out chocolates.  She was dressed in bright pink and blue colors, looking very pretty.  I complimented her and wished her a very happy birthday.  She became very serious and said she did not want be getting older.  I laughed and said, "You are SO young - why are you worried about it?! How old ARE you?" "I am already 22 now.  My family is saying it is time to begin to search for a husband and get married."  Can you imagine??  
I have learned lots of about arranged marriages versus love marriages.  The younger generation is more outspoken and challenging some traditional ways of thinking.  It seems, at least here in southern India, that the older generations do not appreciate it very much, but many figure it's not worth fighting, so they are allowing love marriages.  The majority of marriages are still arranged.  But love marriages are sneaking up in percentages.  There is a young lady in our team who is leaving the company at the end of this month to prepare for her arranged marriage.  She is marrying a distant cousin or distant uncle (I can't remember which), which is not uncommon, because the family can then keep the land and property belonging to the family.  When a girl gets married, her family must offer a dowry to the groom's family (this was outlawed in 1961 but still happens all the time).  So if you marry within the family, then no dowry is required.  Makes economical sense, but logical?  Guess it depends on who you ask...  Lots of interesting thoughts around all this, and I'll save that for another time.
We still appreciate your prayers for Savannah, who is still missing her friends from the visit home.  And her three day break from school this week probably didn't help, as she was bored while I slept since I am on NAM schedule and don't take Indian holidays.  Too much time to think and not enough to keep her busy.  Fortunately, we were able to make plans with our friend Courtney for Savannah to get out of the house tomorrow.  She won't be forced to watch the reruns of Two and a Half Men. Again. LOL
Hope everyone is doing well and sending much love from India!
 
 

Happy New Year!

Jeez, where has the time gone?  Looks like the last thing I blogged about was Thanksgiving and prepping for our trip home.  As you can probably guess, or if you are a FB friend, you know the trip has come and gone and we spent lots of great time with family, friends, and Mexican food.  Savannah spent a lot of time with her friends from church and school, intermingling with some family time in between her social hours, while I spent as much time as my Fab 5’s schedule would allow with them, with lots of other friends, Mom & Dad, the nieces, and Michael. (When we were home, we decided to try and give this long-distance thing another go... anyone who said this love stuff is easy is lying!)  I spent a day at the office for meetings and got to meet up with some work folks for a local happy hour.  That was lots of fun and good to see their familiar faces.  I spent my birthday losing money in Lake Charles, but had fun while doing it so I guess that’s all that matters, huh?  Robert came into town for Christmas and stayed for the long weekend.  It was great to catch up with him and hang out.  We are working on a big trip in May to celebrate his 28^th birthday, Savannah’s 16^th birthday, and explore Asia together.  Any suggestions are welcome – we are in the planning stage but I need to get it in gear.  It’s already mid-January!!  We are thinking of places like Thailand, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Sri Lanka, or Malaysia… where else??  

While we were in Houston we were spoiled and got fresh hair do’s from the fabulous Aunt Lauri, gifted with enough product to bring back with us and last for the next year at least (let’s see how this doing our hair ourselves thing works out…), treated to homemade lasagna and cupcakes from Kent, enjoyed a big girls’ slumber party complete with a taco bar and array of wines, celebrated Christmas and had a few dinners with my brother and his family, went on a hayride with the kids to look at Christmas lights, had a welcome home party complete with Apple Pie Moonshine, were treated to manis and pedis, took family pictures courtesy of the fabulous team at  Allen Owen Photography, and oh, so much more I can't even think of right now.  We enjoyed everyone's time and talents, knowing it's a very busy season and sometimes hard to get away for a few hours.  I ate Mexican food almost every day while we were home and I loved every bite of it!  It was probably a good thing to get back here and start back with our chicken dinners, because all that food could have started making the pants tight again quick!  While it was good to see everyone and enjoy our old haunts, it wasn't really difficult for me to come back.  Maybe because I knew what to expect, had a routine going, felt more acclimated before we left.  It has, however, been difficult for Savannah this time.  She misses her friends a little more.  Misses sweet tea and Red Robin burgers more than before.  Misses her sweet cousin, who she did spend quite a bit of time with...  It's rough.  Please keep her in your prayers. 

When we got back, I was excited to get home to our little Dynamo and see all the fresh fixes the landlord was to have put in place at our flat while we were gone.  I was ready to see our new TV stand, have the DVD player, computer and Keurig all hooked up and ready to go, have the few small issues with kitchen drawers and cabinets fixed and even get rid of the small ant issue we had before we left.  I had been in contact with the landlord via e mail and he had the list ready to go.  On the way home from the airport (oh, without our luggage, by the way... because the flight was late leaving Houston and the layover in Frankfurt wound up being less than 45 minutes so we had to RUN from our plane to the departing plane for Chennai which was completely boarded by this time, and although we made it, our luggage did not!) Savannah asked if I thought our flat would be all fixed.  I told her of course it would - I had talked to the landlord the night we were leaving, showed him everything from the list, followed up in e mail , etc.  She doubted it.  The little brat was right.  We walked in and NOTHING had been done.  Ants still in the same spots and then some :(  No TV stand.  I was soooooooooooo annoyed.  No luggage.  No fixes at the house.  Dynamo wasn't coming home until the next afternoon.  And we had just traveled for 20+ hours.  Yeah, cranky Nikki.  Poor Savannah was all messed up from the time change, which didn't affect me since I am backwards over here, anyway... but she stayed home from school on Thursday.  I forced her back on Friday but she was still pretty off the clock over the weekend, but I've made her go back this week.  No excuses.  Back to the routine.  Last weekend was our "Annual Day Party" at work and we were going to try and attend, but between her jet leg, both of us not feeling 100% and me just being tired, we decided to pass and just stayed home.  Not to unpack, though, since the ants were still around, but we did get our luggage around 6 AM on Friday, special delivery, thank goodness!  Back to the story...  I went back and forth with the landlord via text asking what happened and he said "I thought you were going to be gone for three weeks, we were going to start today."  Uh yeah.  It was three weeks and no, you weren't.  Grrrr.  No change over the weekend... So Tuesday morning when I got home from work and ants were in the package of rice I was cooking for breakfast (we have an odd diet over here, especially me and my schedule..) and some ants poured out with it into the pot.  Let me tell you.  O M G!  I was PISSED!  We brought back over 2 suitcases full of the US foods we wanted and knew would keep (this might or might not have included 6 blocks of Velveeta cheese, which Michael still does not understand... but we will have lots of queso and grilled cheeses and other good stuff - thanks for the idea Brandy!)  and there were ANTS in my rice!  So, I picked them out.  One by one.  All ten of them.  Cooked the rice and texted the landlord at 5:45 AM.  I have been a pretty nice American up to this point.  There are lots of things undone around here since we moved in.  We still don't have our TV stand, a mirror in the hall bath, one socket working, etc.  But it's not a big issue so I don't make a fuss.  ANTS IN MY US FOOD IS A BIG ISSUE.  So I made a fuss.  Within six hours he had the pest control folks over here spraying our place and apologizing up and down.  I told him I was still annoyed, should not have had to let it get to that point, and let's get the other stuff fixed.  Three days later and the other stuff isn't started yet, but the ants are gone and I guess that's good enough for now.  I chalk most of it up to what my coworkers tell me is our time zone… IST - Indian Stretchable Time.  That's ok every now and then, but come on, already!  So this weekend I'll blow up his phone again and hope some other fixes get crossed off the list.  We'll see... always an adventure over here, that's for sure.

Today marks our six month mark in India.  In the beginning it felt like every day was soooooooooo long and every issue was insurmountable.  Now, I can't believe SIX MONTHS have passed and we only have a year and a half left!  I feel like I need to hurry up and do and see all the great stuff this country and continent has to offer.  That being said, 2013 will include some travel plans!  And visitors are welcome J  Come see us!  Savannah and I are also trying to plan to visit a friend and her family for a long weekend in Singapore next month, maybe, if we can get our schedules to jive.  That would be super fun and I hope it works out.  And we are planning a long weekend trip to the neighboring state, Kerala, for a backwater boat ride to see elephants in the wild, some natural beauty (I am still telling these folks in the office I haven’t seen the natural beauty of India yet and they keep telling me it exists… just have to get out of Chennai to find it…), and enjoy some local cuisine.  I hear the food is great and they are famous for the banana chips.  I’ve had them.  Yum.  Of course YUM, they are fried.  LOL  Oh, well.  I am lucky to have some of the best resources here in the office, as many guys are from Kerala and know the ins and outs for us to plan a great trip.  Should be fun. We will see the Taj Majal for sure before we leave, too.  Don't know if it will be in 2013, but it will happen.  I am still trying to finagle my way into a wedding while we are here.  There seem to be quite a few opportunities, so I am fairly confident that will happen.  Sometime soon I will talk about some more cultural stuff.  Like weddings.  And the recently highly publicized assaults against women.  And the not-so-highly publicized assaults against women.  And the treatment of women in general.  And drinking.  I am sure there are more items, but this will just be a few I'll touch on.  For now, this has become more of a novella than a blog post.  If you want to see our family pics, feel free to take a look and if you're in the Houston area, may I recommend my friends Craig & Becky at Allen Owen Photography!  Can't say enough good things about them and the pics turned out great!  Also posted some candid shots from our time in Houston. Click here to view them.

Wishing everyone a very happy 2013, filled with God's grace, laughter, love, family and friends.  Looking forward to a great year here in Chennai making awesome memories with my kiddo and new friends!

Merry Christmas, Y'all!

Just a quick post to say I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. We've been having a great time at home for the holidays and haven't sat down long enough to write for a while. Sending everyone Happy Holiday wishes & our love from SPRING, TEXAS!

More soon!